After the conclusion of the noon Mass at Memorial Hospital, I remained for a while for thanksgiving and to read that day’s meditation in “In Conversation With God”, Francis Fernandez, SJ.

As usually happens, when I sit quietly for a while, I fell asleep – no doubt, one of the side effects of low blood pressure.

Something was different though, this time. Although my body was asleep, a part of my mind was awake! My eyes were closed, but my attention was on Jesus in the tabernacle, in my body and in the pix containing 2 hosts hanging around my neck. I was not dreaming.

I was non-verbally expressing my adoration toward Him. Although I can’t say that I felt His presence, I knew that He was aware of me.

I liked this exchange! I was able to continue it and also to stop it. It stopped and then I was able to restart it.

It was distinctly different from my usual times of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. There, like St. Teresa of Avilla, I usually had to have some religious material to read in order to have some benefit from the time spent; otherwise I was easy prey for endless distractions.

I came away with a feeling of excitement, hoping to have other “naps” in the future.

As I was praying the 7 sorrows of our Blessed Mother, I suddenly caught some unexpected depths to our Lord’s Passion.

The pure love of this act. No guilt lessons directed at us. Just the clarity of showing us our helpless state without His grace.

No sense of obligation directed at us. Who would want to receive love or reverence directed at them because of a sense of obligation-or fear?

He clearly sees where Pilate is coming from – trapped in his governmental role and with a philosophy of relativism. Even though Pilate clearly sees the agenda of the Jewish leaders, he cannot act on his vision.

The true nature of Christ’s act is only made clear, slowly, and only to those who are willing to look deeper.

When will I be ready to search this act and discover/bear the intensity of this love?

When will I be able to bear being loved this way?

Not before I have accepted the forgiveness of my sinful past.

How can I allow myself to be loved when I’m not able to love that intensely?

New ideas are fine as well as logical thinking. The next step is to get out of our brains and do something.

I was inspired to get my pastor’s permission to set up a live-streaming event of Mirjana’s May 2nd apparition in the Parish Center – with a laptop computer, projector, large screen and sound system. Since her meeting happened in California at 11:30 PM, May 1st because of the 9 hour time difference, I wasn’t expecting more than 10 or 15 to show up.

The hall was packed with 75 enthusiasts, praying the rosary, writing their petitions, putting roses beneath the screen and bringing their religious articles to be blessed.

Because of technical difficulties, we saw a replay of the apparition around 15 minutes after it actually occurred, but that did not dampen spirits.

I explained that we had all been blessed and had our prayer intentions “read” by Mary, since we were present and in prayer at apparition time. (If you were right next to Mirjana,physically, during her visit, but you had your eyes closed the whole time, Mary wouldn’t be offended and ignore you).

I told everyone how to connect their laptop or computer to their large screen TV with the appropriate cable (HDMI or 15 pin VGA connector), and to invite their friends over for popcorn, tea or wine. “Where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name, I am there.”

A trip to Medjugorje with no jet-lag or bank-lag should make these events quite appealing, and Mary will be quite appreciative.

I suggested to them that some of the money they have saved could hopefully be donated to Denis Nolan ‘s MaryTV.TV so that he could afford more internet bandwidth and thus make the streaming more reliable.

32 years ago, Mary started appearing every day, to six young Croatian children in a little town in Yugoslavia. Soon there were crowds following them, until the communists tried to shut it down.

After a while, the government figured out that they could make some money from all the visitors and the flow of pilgrims increased.

Miracles were reported.

In the beginning, there were no accommodations for the visitors – bathrooms, rooms for rent, restaurants, etc. Soon investors saw possibilities and building started.

Then the Balkan war began and investment stalled until peace returned. Even then the position of the local bishop and his successor kept a damper on it for some segments of the faithful – those who wouldn’t touch it until the Vatican approved it.

At present, almost every square foot of space is covered with multi-storied condominiums, restaurants, gift shops and the large external altar and seating area. Parking is almost impossible. Most pilgrims come in giant tour busses and they continually cause jams on the one narrow road that surrounds the four villages. Almost all the small personal gardens and vineyards have been “sacrificed” to provide for the flood of pilgrims.

Mary still is holding out the tantalizing bait of ten secrets and the warning “Do not wait for the secrets! For many it will be too late to convert.”

But Mary, dear, only a tiny fraction of the Earth’s population has even heard about your timely visits. Since you love every one of these humans, and since there isn’t enough room in Medjugorje for larger crowds and most people can’t afford to travel there, what’s going to happen next?

You’re certainly not going to get any help from the secular (God hating) media.

One of your disciples has come up with an idea. Denis Nolan, in South Bend, Indiana has started, on a small scale, live streaming over the internet, some of the visionaries having their meetings with you.

One of your fans, Cardinal Christophe Schonborn ,who was considered as a possible replacement for Pope emeritus Benedict, has twice invited the visionaries to his St. Stephens Cathedral in Vienna to have their visits with Mary sent out all over the world , via the internet, by MARYTV.TV (Denis’ website).

And now, the Church has stated that if you are “present” during an event, either by radio, TV, or the internet, you can receive the same benefits (graces, blessings, etc.) as if you were physically present!!! (You can also save an awful lot of travel time and $$$’s)

Well, if you were to travel to Medjugorje, and were physically present during an apparition, you would be encouraged to write down all your prayer intentions, put them in a basket along with everyone else’s, and be in prayer during and after Mary’s visit.

Mary is a very fast reader, so everyone’s petitions are carefully acknowledged, and presented to her Son. Then she prays over everyone, especially the sick and the religious. After discussing the secrets with the visionary, she dictates a message, blesses everyone present, all the religious articles and goes back to Heaven.

Sometimes there is a miraculous healing! Couldn’t it happen via the Internet?!!

Now our Heavenly Father, in His paternal wisdom, doesn’t want people of little faith to just be looking for miraculous healings. Ideally, a healing may occur after a person has accepted their cross as a gift given to help them grow in faith and to learn something. However, when Jesus needed to get His ministry and that of His apostles started, He would relax the requirements for a while. “People even came crowding in from the towns surrounding Jerusalem, bringing with them their sick and those tormented by unclean spirits, and all of them were cured.” (Acts: 5-16)

I think Mary is under some time pressure. After all, it’s been 32 years, “little” Jacov is 42 years old, Vicka is back in the hospital for her back. The stress of dealing with the secrets and Mary’s pain ( due to all those who do not know the love of God) increasingly shows in Mirjana’s face.

Just think of some of the possibilities. Young people in every country are constantly searching the Internet. for something meaningful for their lives. A few internet miracles and some of the Protestants would stop complaining about us worshiping Mary. If a few dissatisfied homosexuals suddenly found themselves attracted to the opposite gender, a lot of that “redefining marriage” rhetoric would quiet down. Abandoned crutches speak loudly. Vocations to the religious life would soar.

These are just a few suggestions, Blessed Mother. I think you need a break.

1. – Fact: After 32 years, only a tiny fraction of the Earth’s population has heard about Medjugorje.

2. – The secular media is not interested in/is hostile towards religious events.

3. – There is very little room for new construction in Medjugorje (to accommodate larger crowds of pilgrims.)

4. – Mary has said: “Do not wait for the Sign (the third secret) – for many it will be too late (it takes time to convert).”

5. – God is fair. He wouldn’t want to reveal the secrets – including the severe chastisements – before all His precious humans have had a chance to hear about His gift of these apparitions (with their confirming miracles), and thus had a chance to begin their conversion.

6. – Therefore, there has to be a new way to get the news out faster.

7. Fact: All over the world, young people are constantly using their communicating devices to try and find something interesting in the “electronic ether” .

8. – Medjugorje is “interesting”, especially if you “happen” to stumble upon it by yourself – instead of having someone preach to you about it – especially since it started with young teenagers.

9. The secular media (radio, TV and printed matter) is controlled (either by laws or finances).

10. The Internet has more freedom (from laws and finances).

11. – Fact: If you are in St. Peter’s during a Mass, you get the Pope’s blessing. You receive it via light (Photons). You see him blessing you. If you are watching the same event out in the square (because there wasn’t room for you inside) on one of the large screens, you will also receive His blessing. It went into the camera filming the event, was electronically transmitted to the equipment serving the large screen and then to your eyes via photons. Similarly, if you are watching the same event on your computer via the internet (while it is actually happening – not a rerun) you are also blessed by Pope Francis.

12. – Therefore: If you are “electronically present” during an apparition of one of the visionaries (anywhere in the world), then ,when Mary blesses all those physically present, and blesses their religious articles, and reads (She’s a fast reader) all their petitions in the basket placed in front of the visionary, and recommends all their intentions to God, you, in front of your screen are included, just as if you were there, physically, {and of course it wouldn’t hurt if you donated to a worthy cause, (e.g. MaryTV.TV – dependent entirely upon donations) a small portion of the money you would have to spend in order to physically be present.}.

13. Since there have been miracles (including healings) during apparitions in the past, it’s reasonable to expect some to occur in this larger, worldwide audience. Hopefully, if/when this occurs, the information (medical records, etc.) will be sent to the St. James parish in Medjugorje.

14. Question: What kind of “radiation” is it that is affecting the visionary, which we can’t see? Can it travel through space like the electronic radiation used by the internet?

15. Good question! Here’s what it can do:

A: Allow some to see Mary, and others not.

B: Prevent the visionary from seeing anything but Mary, hear anything but Mary, feel any pain.

C: See events in the future.

D: Recommend someone for healing (to the big healer in the sky.)

E: Can’t be detected, picked up, blocked or “hacked”.

I would like to subscribe to that “provider” !

This is a continuation of the ideas in 351 – LOOKING FOR GOD’S PLANNING.

Four of us hooked up our laptop to our large screen TV’s to watch Mirjana’s March 18th and April 2nd apparitions (both were rained out, but we still got Mary’s blessing, etc.)

I decided to set up for her May 2nd visit and live stream it in the Parish Life Center at St. Eugene’s Cathedral in Santa Rosa. I got the Pastor’s permission.

There was a Wi- Fi signal in the Rectory which reached out to the Life Center. I could use it to pull up text, but it wasn’t strong enough to enable the showing of MaryTV’s archives of Mirjana’s past apparitions.

I was trying to find out if there was any way to strengthen the signal. Impenetrable red tape – no success.

Up to that point everything seemed to be moving smoothly. I had tested out connecting the lap top to my Optoma Projector and sound system and displaying the image on a large portable screen using the signal from the router at home.

Worked great.

The next morning I picked up a piece of mail which I had missed opening a couple of days ago. It was from AT&T, advertising a Wi-Fi service installation for your home for $14.95 a month. I had never received this kind of offer before.

I called my pastor to see if I could get permission to have one installed in the Parish Life Center. I would happily pay for it. The message on his phone said that he would not receive my call until May 6th.

I went in to see his secretary to see if she could get my request to him. She said to send her an email with the request and she would forward it to him. More delays and there was still time needed to have it installed and to test it with the lap top, plus I had to have 800 copies describing the event printed in time for them to be inserted in the Church Bulletin for April 27/28.

I went over to Costco to get some gas and a Polish hot dog before heading home to write and send the email. Strolling around I paused at a stand selling the latest cellphone, etc. gadgets (I don’t even know what they are called.) The sales lady asked if she could help me. I describe in my limited non-techie vocabulary what I was trying to do.

“Oh, this is just what you need for only $40 a month.” A portable Wi-Fi Jet Pack “transmitter”. Fifteen day trial period. I purchased it, took it to the Life Center, and after some “dinosaur” fumbling around, it worked perfectly!

If the pastor hadn’t been gone, I would have had the Wi-Fi installed at the Life Center. Now I can have live streaming parties at other parishes, or in parks or conferences!

The remaining problem – something was wrong with my email. Every time I tried to send information about the upcoming streaming event to my two groups of addresses, I had been getting a message that it hadn’t been sent and there might be suspicious activity. I had tried to contact Yahoo to get it corrected without any success.

The next morning I was not looking forward to try and correct this last obstacle. I tried once more to send the announcement to one of the groups. It went! Then to the second group. Again, it went! WE ARE GOOD TO GO !!!

The one important thing in this story (Which I haven’t mentioned) is that as each roadblock appeared, I prayed. “Lord, can you help me? I don’t know what to do about this.”

“We have to accept the self, and the surroundings, and the story that God’s providence arranges for us. In humility we must accept our self – just as we are; in charity, we must accept our neighbor just as he is; in abandonment, we must accept God’s will just as things happen to us, and just as He would have us act.” (April Magnificat – Meditation: Dom M. Eugene Boylan, O.C.C.)

This meditation today (4-5-13) fits in nicely with my CHAPTER 278 – THE BENEFITS OF HINDSIGHT, but it has also gradually brought about additional clarification for me.

I was thinking about St. Peter and his thrice denial of Christ. If I had been in his position, when the maid started identifying me, I would have probably justified my denial with the reasoning that there would be no use in being killed now, with Christ, because then there would be no way for the faith to be spread.

Fortunately, Peter wasn’t as mentally “clever” or we wouldn’t have the beautiful teaching of Christ’s forgiveness, His ability to show His power through Peter’s weakness, and how the Holy Spirit was able to transform Peter into a fearless, gifted orator before the Jewish authorities.

Suppose further that I had been there near Peter, or one of his friends, and we had been criticizing Peter whenever he would “shoot his mouth off”, and we got him to keep “bighting his tongue”. By not accepting him “just as he was”, we would have deprived Jesus of the perfect example that Peter was to become.

Of course, all the “just as’s” of the Boylan quote, above, are directed to a person who is trying to follow God’s directions. It is not a statement of “determinism”. We are to be living teachers in a plan written by God, and we have not been able to read the script ahead of time.

The more we become acquainted with the playwright, the better we will be able to “perform” our parts for the audience which surrounds us.

I’m often impressed at how plant life will grow under the harshest conditions wherever there is sunlight. To me it says that God’s sunlight is precious and He doesn’t want it wasted. He wants it to be used to make the Earth beautiful, warm and to provide food for the animals.

The lovely property where my motorhome is parked was recently improved by having the semicircular driveway redone with concrete pavers, assorted sizes and subdued tones. They were placed on compacted sand, but were not cemented in place.

Each year there would be a crop of tiny plants-weeds growing up in the tiny spaces between the pavers. This required the hiring of a worker to scrape out the volunteers after the shower season ended.

But I noticed that in some places the crevices were inhabited by low, inconspicuous moss. It never rose above the height of the pavers and it simply went into a dormant phase when there was no moisture available. There was no need to scrape it out.

It struck me today, that this moss had some of the characteristics of the early Christians. They reverenced the Word of God and were strengthened to continue to grow, even when subjected to persecutions.

I suggested to the owner of the property that she might consider encouraging the moss to fill in all of the spaces between pavers. She has plenty of other jobs for her workers.

A couple of days ago I was thinking about the scene in the Resurrection, where Mary Magdalene was outside the tomb, looking for Jesus’ body. When Jesus called her name, she recognized him. He said “Do not hold onto me. I have not yet ascended to my Father in Heaven.”

It seemed that there was a contradiction. He appeared to his disciples and allowed them to touch him before his ascension.

Then a thought was “ given” to me.

I knew a lot about Mary Magdalene from the visions of Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich.

Mary, a sister of Lazarus and Martha, was a beautiful, woman, accustomed to luxury. She was known to be having affairs with different men. She went through two dramatic exorcisms through her encounters with Jesus, and from then on was a faithful follower.

Since she had been so active sexually, and since her feelings of attraction were accustomed to be expressed sensually, she needed some time to outgrow this aberration.

Gradually, through her relationships with the apostles and the Holy Spirit after Jesus’ ascension, she would “catch up” with the others.

The thought was: Mary would be a useful teaching point in Marriage Counseling classes. So many couple’s relationships are initiated through sensual, sexual attraction before they have had a chance to know what each other are like. Often they put on false personas in order to attract each other. Later, when the masks are dropped, the attraction, and the relationship can suffer.

This is a wonderful time in our country’s history. The obvious corruption and paralysis in our government clearly calls for a radical overhaul. The lack of supervision and control of the public medias has obviously led to the misleading and confusion of the populace. Greedy corrupt media moguls are raking in fortunes by controlling the tastes of the populace.

The present electoral system doesn’t work. We have to overhaul it so that the individual voter’s wishes directly affect the outcome. No electoral districts that can be manipulated, etc.

Then we need a board of impeccable people to insist that any material presented on the public media has been carefully screened to eliminate false or distorted facts – “facts” that could mislead simple uneducated people. No Pornography, etc.!

The evidence for the truth, intelligence and benefits of the Judaeo/Christian system has to be made evident. The history of the last 4000 years, showing how error crept in and the results, all will help to convince people to go along with the necessary reforms.

Let us clearly expose the unhappy fates of greedy people who met unhappy ends by ignoring the teachings of God which have been written on their hearts.

During civilized times in Europe, when parents still had their children’s’ best interests in mind, and when children still respected their parents, the parents would choose or suggest possible mates for the children. Knowing the families of the prospective mate, their interests, talents, etc., they would arrange some social gatherings to enable the children to see “how things fit”, before “chemistry” set in and confused the judgment of the youngsters.

Today, the media portray the parents as fools and set up unrealistic romantic, chemical, idealic dream liaisons to be pursued. (And if the resulting relationship ever falls below that level, then end it and seek a new one.)

Why aren’t we allowed to insist that our country’s managers exercise the same level of intelligence as that of a healthy family? How has it happened that the principle of “freedom of speech” has been allowed to force us to be exposed to obviously destructive filth?

Just think of the good that would come about if we allowed/required our discussions to be ruled by honesty and the principles of Chapter 73 – HOW TO HAVE PRODUCTIVE DISCUSSIONS.