Last night I set out down Santa Maria Way to begin my rosary.
When I reached the north end, I looked out toward Santa Rosa, 8 miles to the East.
House lights, street lights, car headlights stretched in a shimmering swath from north to south.

I paused…..something was beginning to rise up in my gut…..and then

I wanted to scream!

There, laid out before my eyes and mind was the obvious sign of intelligence being seduced by idiocy. There, as in every city and town throughout the “civilized” world was the outer sign of sentient life being held willingly in bondage by infantile meaningless “pleasurable” distractions.
Priceless gifts of creative energy, reasoning power and love being poured into a cesspool of oblivion!

It wouldn’t let go of me.

The remainder of the 200 Hail Mary’s were devoted to trying to imagine different ways of trying to change what I had seen. A couple of them were interesting, but all failed before the insistent requirement that it must be changed/ended NOW.

I knew that I didn’t have the love and patience of a Mother Teresa in me – to draw one person at a time out of that cesspool.

Like an intelligent infant I could only scream “Look at what I see!…. Look at what I see!…. LOOK AT WHAT I SEE!”.

It’s today…my mind is raw from the screaming.

Where is God? How can He allow this to go on?

I’m amazed that my son has the patience to allow his son to gleefully smash his toys into each other.

Couldn’t God be more generous with His Grace to allow us to be more revolted by this sacrilegious orgy?

Is that my job?

Do you see what I see?

The painful scars of my childhood led me to seek recognition and respect. The societally imposed norm of modesty helped me to keep the attempts at recognition from becoming too overt (although still easily recognized by others).

Now, since my conversion and awareness of God’s precious love for me just as I am, the need for recognition has been reduced to the level of a vestigial appendix. It still exists, but usually manifests as a joke on myself (which my friends understand and accept).

Now I can clearly see that I have been using this formerly painful feature in a new way, for God.

It – the beast – has been tamed and is quite content with its self-admiration of my God-given writing and thinking skills.

And my conscience has no trouble preventing the beast from contaminating the composition.

I’m part of a group of men who have been studying Pope Benedict’s two volume work, “Jesus of Nazareth”. We’ve been on chapter two of volume two for the past few weeks.

One of the interesting topics concerned the “time of the gentiles”. Israel would be saved, but only after the time of the gentiles had been completed. This is covered in three of the four Gospels. It is not necessary to be concerned with converting the Jews now ( however it’s not discouraged!).

As I commented during our last meeting, “God understands human psychology – the gentiles, who were put off by all the formalism and hypocrisy of Judaism, eagerly accepted the “free ride” provided by the Holy Spirit. This increased the negative reaction of the Jews to Christianity. But eventually, the Jews would become envious enough, of the joy and peace enjoyed by the Christians, to open up to the truth.”

That was then. But we have a new situation today. That ancient “Graffiti artist”, Satan, has done an “excellent” job of coloring anything Christian as distasteful, and thus made any direct evangelization impossible.

I was born in 1930 and although I had no religious education I was interested in reading the Old and New Testament, but definitely not in listening to anyone speak about it.

Today, he (Mr. Graffiti) has come up with such “slimy” disgusting colors that approaching the new gentiles at all directly is impossible.

LOVE is inventive! We need to come up with some new tools for evangelizing these beloved new gentiles.

We need to write a new “Bible”. (but PLEASE don’t call it that!)

Get hold of a recent (miraculously) converted new gentile with some writing skills. They’re all provided with the whole spectrum of talents – God is still very generous! Then start feeding him some religious ideas to be translated into acceptable terminology for them.

Examples:

1. LOVE. Take the attractive idea of the love between a young man and woman. How they would like that love to survive the ravages of time, temptation, loyalty, etc. How the man would risk his life to protect his loved one.

2. DEATH. Take the “instinctive” distaste for death, and the desire to live forever young. Now introduce some of the information about the experiences of people who were able to observe their bodies being worked on by paramedics even though covered by a sheet and some of whom went up to have wonderful meetings with “spirits” and returned with a new view of life.

3. HIGHER INTELLEGENCE. Take the exciting new discoveries about DNA and display the evidence thus revealed for a higher intelligence. Make this evidence easily understandable in case their background in “probability calculations” is a little weak.

4. GUILT

5. SHAME

6. FEAR vs. PEACE

7. JUSTICE

8. MERCY

9. PURPOSE

Got the idea?

After this book becomes a best seller, perhaps our “Plot” could tactfully be revealed and a study guide could be published which would connect each of the above subjects with the original ideas.

I’m available for consultation. Feel free to “steal” the idea. I’ll get my commission upstairs.

c.c.: Pope Benedict XVI

As man rapidly progresses in the fields of biology, chemistry, mathematics, electronics and astronomy, the evidence of intelligent design becomes increasingly obvious.

However, there does not seem to be accompanying signs of progress in the intelligent use of these discoveries.

After learning how to design medicines to heal human babies we moved on to designing human babies – from compounds to make tires for cars to compounds to destroy cities by fires – from electricity to light rooms at night to lighting the rooms with mindless light.

It seems that the initial warm glow of discovering signs of an intelligence (other than ours) is immediately smothered by seeing the possibilities for profit and pleasure.

Awe and humility have a difficult time surviving in our fallen natures.

Perhaps we can use the distaste generated by these observations to help us, individually, to rediscover that awe and to use the accompanying humility to ask, “why this Intelligent being allowed us to make these discoveries and for what purpose they were to be used?”

Hopefully, atrophy hasn’t set in permanently.

Is there a cure for that?

May 13th – 95th anniversary of Fatima!

After you gave your mom/wife/grandmother your love and some flowers, did you give a passing thought to this other date? If you did, did you make an effort to connect it to June 24th, 1981 – coming up on 31 years and November, 1981 – also coming up on 31 years?

For many/most of us (including yours truly), probably not. I knew the significance, but that was it.

Until I decided to walk up by the vineyards nearby while saying the Joyful mysteries. The first couple of Hail Marys of the Annunciation and it started to hit me.

God created this perfect young woman to enable God, the Son, to come down to us in a non-threatening form, so that He could start replanting His vineyard. Now a little darnel may be necessary to hide His hand (pull it up and you disturb the roots (read: free will – “If I’m bad, God may pull me up.”), but the millions of deaths of WW II so obscured God’s loving care and presence in His creation that it damaged the faith of many millions more whose roots were not deep enough.

Happily for those who knew Mary’s precise predictions at Fatima, they were vaccinated against despair, but God didn’t want it to keep on happening, so He sent Mary down twice in 1981.

The apparitions in Kibeho, Africa, which predicted the Rwandan genocide, enabled the world to see, once again, the folly of ignoring her warnings – fortunately only one million “vines” were destroyed. Since the Kibeho warnings were mainly lost in the mindless media, people had the opportunity to learn the lesson relatively guilt free.

But what about you and me…now? With 95 and 30 plus years of fresh, painfully hot history, so difficult (or easy) to ignore?

What is the incredibly difficult, painful request being made of us? She hasn’t asked us to buy weapons, build bomb shelters, stock up on supplies, and develop muscles and martial arts.

No! We’re asked to pray – pray from the heart – pray until prayer becomes a joy. Tell God you want Him to run the show down here and ask how you can help.

Prayer is the No Doze pill. If you start forgetting to “take it”, keep some copies of the PBS videos of the Holocaust in Europe and Rwanda on hand and watch them.

During my morning prayer time, I noticed a busy gopher poking its head out, next to the pathway to my door, nervously surveying for danger, and munching on the greenery surrounding its hole.

Safe from my sleeping cat, this continued for some time. It gave rise to a sense of wonder at how all God’s creations live in close harmony in all the different ecological niches.

Then I wondered as to how I could go about making a pet of a gopher. I could never even get close to one of these nervous creatures, so I would have to trap one, keep it in a cage and gradually gain its trust by feeding it, etc. till it got used to me, and then perhaps receive its trust and affection.

My cat, Boots, “loves “me. She was abandoned years ago by the previous residents. Her love is limited. She doesn’t adore me and she definitely maintains her own independence and insists that I respect it.

If I had to do a stint as a Robinson Caruso, I would much prefer a human companion to Boots. Only a fellow human could appreciate the richness of my human nature (and vice versa) and our mutual care for each other.

I sprinkled a few of Boots’ cat food pellets on Mr. Gopher’s holes. If he showed an appreciation of this treat, I might continue this relationship, but I wouldn’t expect to find him kneeling outside my door with his paws joined together in supplication.

If somehow Mr. Gopher realized that I was his benefactor and he went out and converted his whole colony of fellow gophers and they all wanted to move into my motorhome and join hands asking for cat food and being affectionate towards me in return, it might make a viral YouTube item, but I have other jobs to pursue.

What then about my relationship with God?

I didn’t create the gophers, and my befriending them didn’t help them to achieve a higher level of their being that was part of their design. It might even turn them into affectionate pests.

In our case, it seems that we have an innate desire for More. Sometimes that desire gets derailed into more money, more food, more sex, etc., but all these “lower” mores never touch the higher appetite, and our Creator has warned us not to allow that “derailing”.

Since He created us with this innate desire for the infinite, and since He is infinite, it would seem that He wants us to become infinite “like” Him.

He is infinitely generous! Therefore, becoming more generous with our T,T&T (time, talent & treasure) are steps in the right direction for our growth toward the infinite.

I can personally vouch for encouraging results as I use my remaining time, creative talent and limited financial treasure for the benefit of others. After all, they were all gifts to me!

Better throw this away right now if you’re not in the mood to be upset, because I aim to upset you.

Still with me ? Then let’s get to it!

Who is it that I’m talking to? … You, sitting in the pews every Sunday, contributing to the first (and sometimes the second) collection, attending the fundraisers, leaving your unneeded clothing at the St. Vincent DePaul collection site and buying your Christmas tree from the Church lot even though they’re cheaper elsewhere.

So, what’s my complaint? (you asked) – (I heard you)

You’re lukewarm. Jesus said “I’ve come to bring fire to the earth.” So lukewarm doesn’t cut it.

(You know I’m right, but you’re going to forced me to prove it, right? So here goes.)

First of all, you’re scared. It looks like everything is falling apart. TV is poisoning everyone – especially the young – sex and money are advertised as the ultimate goals in life, the crazies are coming out of the woodwork and the third world countries are getting the Bomb (capital B), the stock market is trembling and cancer, cholesterol and AIDS are fighting for the lead. Road rage and schoolyard rage are in the headlines every other day.

Looking for a safe investment? How about buying stock in burglar alarms, surveillance cameras and automatic gate systems?

I’ve got a better one, but later for that.

Secondly, what’s your honest (internal) reaction when your priest starts dropping a pinch of fire and brimstone into his homily? (before he gets shipped off to a parish in the boonies)..

And how much of his fire is still smoldering in your conscience an hour….a day later?

How did your last confession go (and when was it?)…and did it come from your head or your heart…and were your eyes dry?

Maybe you’re waiting for the Holy Spirit to come down and personally put a match to your combustible material. I’m afraid it doesn’t quite work that way…the Good Lord gave us free will to love Him or not and He will not violate it. You have to want to love him before He’ll help out.

Are you still there, or am I talking to myself? – You are..? Oh good.

Then I’ll ease up on you a little. Look, it’s not just you. The whole Catholic Church has become lukewarm. Just witness how the Faith is not being passed on to the young and the Priesthood has been suffering. Satan has been very busy and very effective (Oops, did I use an unfashionable word?)

“Well, what’s a poor body to do?” (That’s you speaking, I hope.) “If I start acting a little Gung Ho, people are going to smirk and my kids will roll their eyes, besides it feels awkward to me.”

Here’s my answer – the better investment I mentioned earlier.

If you are feeling a little down about your once proud country, put down the newspapers gleefully pointing out the obvious flaws. Then go find a recent immigrant from a third world country and ask what he/she thinks.
In the same way, if your Catholic Faith seem lacking in luster, go find a recent convert (don’t have to go far…here I am – one year old) (1998).

You my friend (hopefully) are heir to the most beautiful, inspiring, exciting, intellectually challenging and most complete and true faith on the planet’s face. And with the best art and the most beautiful music!

I hope that helps a little, but I realize those are just words (I believe them all literally).

Let’s get practical. (I’m trying to get a bonfire going and the wood is all damp. One match isn’t going to do it.)

First of all you have to realize that God is completely in control of this whole confusing world (that’s not the same as Determinism).

Let’s get a little perspective here. When was the last time you had a chance to look through a decent telescope on a clear summer night? Those billions of galaxies are His way of saying “I didn’t create the universe and you – dear humans in order to give myself a headache. I’ve got things under control. The apparent confusion is to encourage you ask for help.”

Whenever things seem to be getting out of hand, He sends down a little help, but He doesn’t want to be too obvious (that Free Will clause, you know.) ( I like that definition of coincidences: God’s way of remaining anonymous. )

Well, He has been sending down help, and things are so bad that He’s been loosening up on the “too obvious” clause!

“What help?” (that’s you – you get all the good lines.)

Well, have you heard of Fatima, Portugal?

“Ummm…aahhh…something about the sun dancing?”

Good! Better than most Catholics I’ve asked.

I can’t do your homework for you..I’ll just say that Mary appeared to three peasant children in 1917, performed a science fiction style miracle that put Hollywood’s special effects to shame – which miracle was witnessed by 70,000 people including a lot of atheists, made a bunch of predictions of unpleasant future events, all of which came to pass, told us how to avoid them, all of which was soon forgotten.

“But we’re not required to believe in apparitions – not even approved ones.” (you, again)

Well, how are you going to decide whether you want to believe or not if you don’t find out what happened? (Lukewarm symptom: Only wants to do what is absolutely required).

Go get a book on Fatima and find out about those predictions, all of which were specific and all of which came true. Read about the lives of the three children – one of whom is still alive. TAN books can help you.(Better keep some tissues handy while reading about Jacinta – the youngest visionary)

If history doesn’t do it for you, how about something a little more current? Find out what’s happening in a little village in Bosnia today…every day for the past 17 (now 30 +) years.

Mary (the same Mary according to Lucia – the oldest of the three Fatima seers) has been appearing to six Croatian Catholic peasant teens every day since 1981. (She chooses peasant children because they’re not old enough or sophisticated enough to have made the whole thing up.) Every day for 17 (now 30 +) years.

They’ve all been tested many times with the latest scientific equipment (finally science had done something useful for religion).

The kids are normal, modest, and humble in spite of all the attention. She really knows how to pick them.

“But Medjugorje isn’t approved yet.”

(Note: He knows the name of the village and he knows the Church’s rules.)

Same reply as to your last lukewarm whimper, plus the fact that thousands of priests, hundreds of bishops and (daring) archbishops and cardinals ( and our beloved Pope John Paul II) have said that they believe Mary is appearing to the six children. Not to mention the Millions of pilgrims who have flooded the village. Protestants of all flavors are converting plus Moslems, Hindus, agnostics and atheists.

Read up on Medjugorje. (Med you gore yay). Read some of the messages she has been giving to the World.

She is our mother – each of us individually – and she is suffering. She sometimes appears to the children weeping. Wouldn’t you (or perhaps aren’t you) watching one of your beloved children destroying their life?

She says that God created each of us and He has a plan for each of us individually, and that we can find out what it is! She says she will help each of us, her children, bring it to completion.

I’ve had a bucket full of her graces poured out on me and I’m sure the pain of my time in Purgatory (No, I don’t have a ticket on the express to Heaven) will be to experience the fate of those whom I might have touched had I not kept the graces to myself.

Get ready to fall in love with your Faith – Passionately!

There is no room for fear in a heart that loves
.
May 7, 2012 – I wrote this in 1998 before I had even thought of the Book. Still haven’t calmed down.

One of the interesting, terrifying facts that physics reveals about black holes is the nature of their intense gravitational fields. Because of their immense mass, the gradient of the force field is so strong that if you were to fall feet first toward the center, your feet would be torn from your ankles, from your knees,….lower jaw from upper, etc. ouch! (Let’s see you produce an episode on that, STAR TREK.)

I’ve been trying to have my daily communions become more meaningful and have prayerfully been asking for assistance.

This morning I got some help from one of my daily readings.
February 29 – “ DRAW NEAR” From “God Calling” – A.J.Russell

”How little man knows and senses My need! My need of Love and Companionship.

I come “to draw men unto Me,” and sweet it is to feel hearts drawing near in love, not for help, as much as for tender comradeship.

Many know the need of man; few know the need of Christ.”

Eureka! As usual, the key is to consider the needs of the “other” rather than oneself.

I immediately was having some “success”. I began telling Jesus how much I loved Him and appreciated everything He has given me. Then I began offering myself to Him completely and unreservedly. It felt completely real and sincere.

Suddenly this beautiful communion was shattered by the inner silent scream of the TITLE, as my “I” let out it’s primeval objection to surrendering its “freedom” to the “Black Hole” of God.

Patience!!! My “I” just needs a little more reassurance.

RUGGED HILLS ARE ATTRACTIVE – SMOOTH LANDSCAPED HILLS ARE BORING
HOUSING TRACTS ARE DEPRESSING – WOODEN CABINS IN THE FOREST ARE ATTRACTIVE.
HUMANS HAVE BEEN CREATED TO FIND CHALLENGES ATTRACTIVE

When I pray the second Joyful mystery – after Elizabeth says “…and blessed is the fruit of thy womb” – then I continue by singing Mary’s Magnificat (as performed by John Michael Talbot)

But (with Mary’s gracious permission) I make it my Magnificat.

” My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
And my spirit exults in God my savior,
For He has looked with mercy on my lowliness,
And my name shall be forever exulted.
For the Mighty God has done great things for me,
And His mercy is from age to age.
And Holy, Holy, Holy is His Name.

He has mercy in every generation,
He has revealed His power and His Glory.
He has cast down the mighty and the arrogant,
And has lifted up the meek and the lowly.
He has come to help His servant, Israel.
He remembers His promises to our fathers.
And Holy, Holy, Holy is His Name.
And Holy, Holy, Holy is His Name.”

(I’ve heard that when you sing your prayers, it’s like praying twice.)

Yes – my Magnificat, and my name shall be forever exulted, because I am one of God’s exquisite creations with an essential job to perform in bringing His Creation to perfection.

In Heaven we will have all eternity to Ooh and Ahh as we are shown how all His other exquisite creations performed their individual essential jobs.

Attention: Catholic movie makers: There’s a gold mine of material out there! Start excavating some of the less obvious heroic lives. That way you can be one of the exalted ones some day!