Conversation with God
- My Dear Father in Heaven.
- Don’t interrupt me. I’m praying.
* But you called Me.
- Called you? I didn’t call you. I’m praying… My Dear
Father in Heaven…
* There, you did it again.
- Did what?
* Called me. You said, “My Dear Father in Heaven.” Here I
am. What’s on your mind.?
- But I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just, You know,
saying my prayers for the night. I always say my prayers.
It makes me feel good, kind of like getting my duty done.
* Oh. All Right. Go on.
- I’m thankful for my many blessings…
* Hold it. How thankful?
* How thankful are you for your “Many blessings?”
- I’m… well… I don’t know. How should I know? It’s just
part of the prayer. Everyone always said that I should
express my thanks.
* Oh well. You’re welcome. Go ahead…
- Go ahead?
* With the prayer.
- Oh yeah. Let’s see… bless the poor and the sick and the
needy and the afflicted…
* Do you really mean that?
- Well, sure I mean it.
* What are you doing about it?
- Doing? Who, me? Nothing. I guess. I just think that it
would be kind of nice if You got control of things down
here like You have up there, so people don’t have to suffer
* Have I got control of you?
- Well I go to church, I pay my tithe, I don’t…
* That isn’t what I asked you. What about your temper? You
have a problem there, and your friends and family suffer.
And then there’s the way you spend your money… all on
yourself. And how about the kinds of books you read?
- Stop picking on me. I’m just as good as some of the rest
of those I see every Sunday at church.
* Excuse Me. I thought you were praying for me to bless the
needy. If that is to happen, I’ll have to have help from the
ones who are praying for it… like you.
- All right. I guess that I have a few hang-ups, now that
You mention it. I could probably mention some others.
* So could I.
- Look, Father. I need to finish up here. This is taking a
lot longer than usual. Bless the missionaries to be led to
the doors of the honest in heart.
* You mean people like Ralph?
* Yes, the guy around the corner.
- “That” Ralph… but he smokes and drinks and never goes to
* Have you ever looked in his heart lately?
- Of course not. How can…
* I have. I looked. And it’s one of those honest hearts
your were just praying about.
- O.K. then, get the missionaries over there. Do you think
I like having a non-member for a neighbor?
* Aren’t you supposed to be a missionary? I thought I made
that pretty clear.
- Hey, wait a minute. What is this? Criticize “me” day?
Here I am, doing my duty, keeping your commandments to
pray. And all of a sudden you break in and start reminding
me of all my problems.
* Well, you called Me. And here I am. Keep on praying.
I’m interested in this next part. You haven’t changed the
order around have you? … Go on…
- I don’t want to.
* Why not?
- I know what You’ll say.
* Try Me and see.
- Please forgive me of all my sins… and help me to forgive
* What about Bill?
- See. I knew it. I knew you’d bring him up. Listen Lord,
he told lies about me, and I got fired. All my co-workers
think I’m a first class creep, and I didn’t do anything.
I’m going to get even with him!
* But your prayers. What about your prayers?
- I didn’t mean it.
* Well, at least you’re honest. I guess you enjoy carrying
that load of bitterness around, don’t you?
- No, I don’t. But I’ll feel better as soon as I get even.
* Do you want to know a secret?
- What secret?
* You won’t feel better. You’ll feel worse. Listen to me.
You forgive Bill and I’ll forgive you.
- But Lord, I can’t forgive Bill.
* Then I cannot forgive you.
- No matter what?
* No matter what. But you’re not through with your prayer
yet. Go on.
- Oh all right… please help me to control my feelings and
not yield to temptations.
* Good. Good. I’ll do just that. But you stop putting
yourself in all those places where you can be tempted.
- What do you mean by that?
* Quit hanging around the magazine racks and spending so
much time in front of the tv. Some of that stuff is going
to get to you sooner or later. You’ll find yourself
involved in some terrible things before long… and don’t
use me for an escape hatch either.
- An escape hatch? I don’t understand.
* Sure you do. You’ve done it lots of times — you find
yourself in a crisis situation, then you come running to
me. “Lord, help me out of this mess and I promise I’ll
never do it again.” It’s amazing how the quality and
intensity of your prayers improve when you are in trouble.
Do you remember some of those bargains you tried to make
- Well I don’t think… Oh… yeah… like the time Mom’s
visiting teacher saw me coming out of that movie about… Oh
* Do you remember your prayer. I do. “Oh God. Don’t let
her tell my mother where I’ve been. I promise I’ll go to
nothing but “G” rated movies from now on. She didn’t tell
your mother, but you didn’t keep your promise. Did you?
- No Lord, I didn’t. I’m sorry.
* So am I. Go ahead and finish your prayer.
- Wait a minute. I want to ask you a question. Do you
always listen to my prayers?
* Every word. Every time.
- Then how come you never talked back to me before?
* How many chances have you given me? There’s not enough
time between your “Amens” and your head hitting the pillow
for me to draw a breath. How am I supposed to give an
- You could, if you really wanted to.
* No. I could if you really wanted Me to. Child, I always
- Father, I am sorry. Will you forgive me?
* I already have. And thanks for letting me interrupt. I
get lonely to talk to you sometimes. Good night. I love
- Good night, and I love You too.