Praise God! The test results have come back negative! I do not have Cushing’s disease or any other disease! Oh, it feels so good to not worry about that any more. If a person wants to see how much they trust God, they just need to go through something like this. It really tests your faith. I worried – gave it to God, – took the worry back – gave it to God. And He patiently blessed me.

The doctors have decided that this hump on my back is just a ‘fatty tumor’ and it needs to be surgically removed. It keeps growing and is now 6 inches long from shoulder to shoulder and 4 inches wide down my back. It will be ‘out-patient’ surgery, but the surgeon will admit me to the hospital if there is even the slightest concern. The date of the surgery is February 10th and as always, your prayers on that day will help me get through it.

The funny thing is that when each of my 3 doctors saw my hump, they all said exactly the same thing – “What did you do?” Well, since it is located on my back, there isn’t anything I could have done to myself.

Until the surgery, I thought I would work out every single day. For one thing, it will be great for the nerves. Alas, I have only been on the treadmill once (at home). Where is my self-discipline? Why am I not at the gym I love so much? Shouldn’t I have cabin fever or something to get me out of the house? I will do my best to get out tomorrow so I can write that I have done some exercise. If I write it I had better do it or have a good excuse why I didn’t. I have to be true to myself and I don’t want to disappoint anyone reading this blog.

I have not totally wasted this time. I have listened to Matthew Kelly’s ‘Being-The-Best-Version-of-Yourself’ CD and read ‘Rediscover Catholicism’. I highly recommend both of these to everyone. They are fairly inexpensive and you can find them at www.matthewkelly.org. There are LOTS of great books to help you discover God’s purpose for your life and to motivate you to be your best for God. If you like what Mr. Kelly writes and records, perhaps you can ask your pastor to purchase a large quantity for the parish so the price will be more affordable for everyone.

In the meantime, I have developed some good habits (Mr. Kelly suggests developing 5 good habits a year). One of his suggestions is to begin reading the Bible. Really reading it. I did some research and found the daily Mass readings on the web at http://www.easterbrooks.com/personal/calendar/weekly. When you get to this website, you can sign up for the daily Mass readings to be sent to your email address every day.

I also receive “Our Daily Bread” booklet in the mail, which has a story with a moral for each day and a note on the side stating the chapter to read to get through the entire Bible in one year.

Presently I am reading Leviticus. This Old Testament book describes how to offer up holocausts and sin offerings to Yahweh. God patiently describes each step to Moses, from how to cut the animal to how to place the meat on the altar for the sacrifice. It is really interesting how God taught the Israelites how to cook the food and which food they must not eat (which would not be good for them). I confess that when I first read the passages, it sounded just like a Bar-B-Queue and maybe that is where we first learned to cook meat over fire! God also said that the aroma of the meat offerings is pleasing to Him!

Another habit I have developed is counting calories. I have created an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of every single thing I eat, and how many calories it contains. [An ordinary notebook will do just as well].

Since my diet consists of the same thing for breakfast and lunch each day, all I have to do is cut and paste the information into the new day. I found a web site for counting calories at: http://caloriecount.about.com

I’ve included my daily Bible readings in the worksheet. I type the chapter and verse and then write something short next to the reading to make sure I understand what I’ve read. When I don’t understand it, I just copy and paste the most important part of the reading on to the worksheet. When I start my Bible Study at church, I will have my questions ready.

There are so many other habits I want to develop, but I want to concentrate on these two. It is no accident that I picked ones that help the body and the soul. To me, they form the basis of all the other habits.

The first one is helping me lose weight. The second one is making me think about God in a whole new way. While reading the Bible I see examples that God has always been with us. For example, while the Israelites were wandering in the desert, they had to have a cloud (God) to lead them every day for 40 years – I think it would be great to have that cloud in front of us during these turbulent times too. On second thought, I see we DO have God in front of us every day – in the form of the Blessed Sacrament in the tabernacles of our churches or in the monstrance at Eucharistic Adoration. We just need to take time to go visit Him there. He will lead us too if we ask.

Today I saw my doctor – the specialist (endocrinologist). He doubts I have Cushing’s syndrome as I do not have the tell-tale purple stretch marks on my abdomen that identifies Cushing’s. However, I need the results of two lab tests to come back to be sure. He diagnosed that I have a large fatty tumor at the back of my neck that needs to be removed and has scheduled me to see a surgeon on Jan. 23rd.

I feel like I have been given a reprieve. It feels so good to not have this hanging over my head. I was so convinced I had the disease. I didn’t know someone could have this big hump and have it not be something more than a fatty tumor. The pictures for Cushing’s looks just like what I have. I know the results are not final, but the doctor was optomistic and now, so am I.

I realize now that this has been weighing on me and my husband constantly. Now I feel like a huge boulder has been lifted off my shoulders. Actually it will when the surgeon removes the tumor from my neck. All will be well once the lab work comes back negative. If it comes back positive, I am ready for Step 2 and more prayers.

If my husband does not need my car tomorrow, I will go to the gym and begin to seriously work out again. I have gained 10 lbs. (4.55 kilos) in the last 2 months. When I was diagnosed by my primary care physician with Cushing’s, I just stopped going to the gym. I did not feel like going anything. Although I am taking in about 1200 calories a day, I have to work off the fat. If I can’t get to the gym, I will work out at home, which is actually a more challenging exercise routine.

All through this waiting period, I have felt the prayers of many people holding me up. When the doctor first told me his doubts, I felt these prayers being answered in the examination room. I know God is with me, but at times, I just can’t believe something good is going to replace the ‘bad’ I have in my mind. I can walk with my cross, but I am utterly amazed when the cross is lifted from my shoulders for a while. I have to learn to trust that there can be bad and GOOD potential outcomes. I am so blessed to be given this faith, this God, this trust. Remind me to read this if the tests come back positive. God’s Peace to You.

The symptoms of Cushing’s disease are increasing and so is my anxiety. This situation has become a distraction to me and all my good intentions of working out each day have gone to the wayside. I have no discipline now – I am just living each day as a day closer to my doctor’s appointment. Nothing is more important to me at this time. How sad is that?

God has come to my rescue once more. He has put another book in my hands that is inspiring me to become a ‘better-version-of-myself’. This is the encouragement I need and way out of the tunnel vision of self-pity.

This book is “Re-Discover Catholicism, A Spiritual Guide to Living with Passion and Purpose” by Matthew Kelly. I bought this book in the spring of last year. When I tried to read it, the font type was too small that I just put it in my bookcase to read ‘later’. Then a fellow parishioner purchased enough books for the entire parish to read. During the Christmas Masses, our pastor distributed the book to everyone in the pews. I took that as I sign that I had better find a way to read it. I purchased some extra strength reading glasses and after the first chapter, I was hooked. This book is now available for eReaders making it easier to adjust the font size.

Mr. Kelly is a brilliant author and since his teenage years has spent most of his time studying and speaking about the Catholic faith while attending business school. Besides his profession as a management consultant and an internationally acclaimed speaker, he has written at least 10 books – most of which have the recurrant theme of how to become ‘the-best-version-of-yourself’. What a unique idea!

There is a lot of great information in this book; but what really touched me was the chapter on discipline called ‘In Search of Excellence’. One example he used was himself as a writer. He explained that writing a book is just plain hard work. (So is writing a blog!) He said that a writer must write every single day, no matter how they feel or what is going on in his/her life. His point is: to achieve excellence, one must practice every single day.

Another example he gave was Michael Jordan. When Michael was in high school, he was not an outstanding basketball player. Can you imagine this? The coach said his problem was that his foul shots were off. So he practiced until he made 500 foul shots a day. He would not go home and to bed until he made his 500th foul shot. What deligence!

Other examples include the saints. They had a focus – a singleness of purpose as they tried to align their goals with the will of God. We have modern saints that show us that it takes discipline and dedication to reach a goal – including Mother Theresa and Pope John Paul II. In reading the stories of their lives, we will find how they and the other saints struggled and overcame the obstacles to holiness and excellence.

With all this wonderful information at my fingertips, I had to consider: what is my goal, my purpose? What good habits do I have or need to cultivate? If I want to become ‘the-best-version-of-myself’, how can I develop the discipline I need to achieve it?

What is my mission? How do I find out if I am doing God’s Will? According to Mr. Kelly, it all starts with a prayer. The only way to know what God’s mission for me is to ask Him. I may not receive an immediate answer but by praying consistantly, my prayer may slowly become a conversation and then a dialogue with God. I may not even get the full picture; just tiny hints and nudges to get me started. Eventually I am sure I will reach a certainty of purpose.

What I have learned is that whether I am sick or healthy, God will find a way to use my talents for His Glory. I cannot put off my quest for spiritual excellence because I just don’t feel good. Every day is a new opportunity for me to become a better prayer warrior, a better listener to God’s inspirations and a better sister to my family in Christ. This happens because when I am sick, He has my undivided attention – that is if I am not focused in feeling sorry for myself.

So no matter how I feel, I will lift my face to the Lord and ask Him to direct my life – and I will schedule it as one of the first things I do each day. I believe it will also change how I view and respond to the stresses of each day. If I want to be the best I can be; I have to practice – every day. While my focus is on God, it is not on my trials. I want to embrace this new life and become the ‘best-version-of-Ginger’.

My new attitude is this – even if I have a headache – go to  the gym three times a week. I’m going to have the headache anyway, why not burn some fat while having it? I can always take something for the pain after I get home and let it put me to sleep for a while.

I had a great work out yesterday. I am averaging 45 minutes, using some – but not all the machines. They are so easy to use that it is a pleasure to let the machine help me stretch or build muscle.  I love the treadmill and bike but the other machines are great too.  I set the weight to ‘0’ and it seems to be heavy enough for me. I have noticed a big difference already. The saggy part of my upper arms – gone!  I am walking taller and straighter and I feel so much better. Sore? You bet. Worth it? You bet!

I took my sister with me to Planet Fitness.  She is eight years older than I. I wasn’t sure she would like it – she loves it!  She has been super fit many years of her life and wants to be fit again. She will give me that extra boost to get me to the gym when I need one.

I am reading a wonderful book called ‘Unbound’, by Neal Lozano. It is “A Practical Guide to Deliverance”. He is a compassionate man with many gifts of the Holy Spirit. He illustrates how we can be carrying so much pain; we may not even realize it. I am just halfway through the book and have written pages and pages in my journal of fears I have kept inside me. Neal tells you how to find them and get rid of anything that stands between you and a glorious relationship with God.

Deliverance is a very small part of inner healing, but it is very important to recognize that Satan is doing all he can to confuse and discourage you. According to Neal, God wants to show you how much He loves you. In his book he describes how to reach out to God for a healing for yourself and others.  This is another way to have ‘HolyHealth’ – a way that I need to learn more about.

Just for Today
by Pauline Phillips

Just for Today

I will live through this day only.
I will not brood about yesterday
or obsess about tomorrow.
I will not set far reaching goals
or try to overcome all of my problems at once.
I know that I can do something for 24 hours
that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for Today

I will be happy.
I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me.
If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away
and fill it with sunshine.

Just for Today

I will accept what is.
I will face reality.
I will correct those things that I can correct
and accept those I cannot.

Just for Today

I will improve my mind.
I will read something that requires
effort, thought and concentration.
I will not be a mental loafer.

Just for Today

I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable.
I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path
and I’ll not speak ill of others.
I will improve my appearance.
I will speak softly and not interrupt when
someone else is talking.
Just for today,
I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

Just for Today

I will do something positive to improve my health.
If I’m a smoker, I’ll quit.
If I am over-weight, I will eat healthfully, if only for today.
And not only that,
I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk
even if it is only around the block.

Just for Today

I will gather the courage to do what is right
and take the responsibility for my own actions.

We are closing out this old year and I am not making any New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, I am incorporating what I have learned this year, with this blog, into new habits for the coming year. I invite you to walk with me on my journey to better health and fitness.

In my last blog, I told you I received the Anointing of the Sick. I have a growth on my upper back. Years ago, a doctor told me it was a ‘fatty tumor’ and if it started to hurt or grow, I should get to a doctor right away. It was flat then and I did not worry about it. It has slowly become quite large; it is as big as a grapefruit now. It is not a ‘fatty tumor’. Today my primary care physician diagnosed it as ‘Cushing’s Disease’. There is a long list of symptoms and I have most of them. One of them is ‘weight gain of the upper body and trunk’. Imagine that!

I will see how quickly I can get an appointment with an endocrinologist. If the diagnosis is correct, there are many tests and ways to treat this disease, including surgery. I think I may have to post-pone Planet Fitness for a while.

On the upside, if this is truly ‘Cushing’s Disease’ and it is treatable, I may be able to finally drop this excess weight and have more energy to work out. My husband is hoping the mood swings will disappear.

Spiritually, the Holy Spirit is increasing the occasions for me to pray over people to heal them. If you are interested in these occurrences, please send me a comment with your email address. I don’t know why Jesus chose an old, fat woman to be His instrument, but I will obey as long as He wants me to reach out to those in pain.

I pray that you receive all the blessings that God has in store for you. I am ready to have better health and be able to continue to keep this blog going with many successes to report. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts. Your comments mean so much to me – as do your prayers. I will keep you ‘posted’.

I hope everyone who is reading this has had a wonderful and blessed Christmas. I certainly had my share of surprises!

A miracle happened to my husband and me on December 23rd. It said in our church bulletin that confessions would be heard on that night, from 7-8 pm. We arrived early anticipating a large crowd. There was no one there and the church was closed.

I went to the rectory to find out what happened and the housekeeper said there were no confessions that night, they were on the 19th – and there would be no more before Christmas. Then Father just walked in the door. He had nothing else scheduled for that night and it was a ‘miracle’ that we came when we did as he had been gone all day delivering food to the poor. He not only heard our confessions, but gave us the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. (more on that later) I am sure God orchestrated all of this. We were now ready to receive Holy Communion on Christmas. When we returned home, I looked at the bulletin again and I was right. It was printed that confessions were scheduled for that night – the night no one came to church but us.

Another miracle is God has given me the gift of healing. I walked into church a half hour early and no one had arrived yet accept the ushers. One of them, who I knew, looked so bad, I just had to stop and ask him what was wrong. He told me he was in severe pain due to a pinched nerve in his back and severe arthritis, among other things. You could tell he was in incredible pain as his face had aged 20 years! I was ‘moved’ to pray over him. I annointed him with oil blessed by Padre Pio and when I began to pray, the graces came through me from the tabernacle as if someone turned on a firehose and aimed it at the side facing the tabernacle. They came down my arms and into my hands to him. When I was finished, his face was absolutely radiant. He felt he was completely healed. He had not been able to genuflect for years and now he can. The pain is gone and the trembling in his hands stopped. What a wonderful Christmas gift – for both of us.

How is my workout and weight loss going? My visits to the gym have been cut back due to the holidays. But I have cut way back on what goes in my mouth. I am drinking my shake at lunchtime and am not preparing huge meals for just the two of us. Sometimes we only have soup and crackers or a baked potato. If we are still hungry, we will eat something more later. Christmas dinner with our family was no problem – I ate little.

Though I am doing all these things, my body does not look good. After looking in my full length mirror, I was so disgusted with myself but kept asking God to help me. Last night, Christmas Day, I sat on the living room floor watching TV with Eddie and began doing my ‘floor exercises’. This morning, my arms look ½ the size. Lesson to Ginger: Keep Moving – and God will do the rest.

I will do my best to write more often. I always think I have nothing new to write about and look what came out of the keyboard today. I wish all of you a Blessed, Peaceful, and Healthy New Year.

Again, it has been a while since I have written. My life has been filled with December. This is a difficult month for me and I was hoping to spend most of it at the gym. But my husband had to use my car for a while.

Today I worked at Wal-Mart as a temp to earn extra money. I could only stock shelves for 3 hours! This was one tough workout. I salute all those in retail who stand on their feet all day as cashiers and stockers. You guys rock!

This experiment of working at Wal-Mart alerted me to the fact that I am so out of shape, it is literally a sin! I have my full length mirror in my bedroom and I check myself out each day. Sadly, I have gotten so much bigger. I do not know if I am retaining water, it is more likely I am retaining fat grams. And the lack of exercise every day is taking its toll on me.

I have not gotten away from the bowl of ice cream every day yet! Sometimes it is more than 1 bowl a day! I am sure that is a big reason for the weight gain.

You see, I am lactose intolerant and have not been able to eat ice cream for many years. Now the stores carry ‘Lactaid©’ ice cream and it feels like I am making up for lost time. I was hoping to get sick of it by now, but so far, I still love it.

This IS a sin. Gluttony! It is also an addiction. And we know who is in charge of all that is NOT of God, right? Yes, the evil one. To sum it up, I am committing some of the 7 Deadly Sins of the Catholic Church every day! They are: gluttony, wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust and envy.

Do you see how every day habits make it easy to fall into Satan’s traps? This is Christmas, the time when Jesus was born into the world with nothing. It seems like a good time to lay down these sins at His little feet and never take them up again. He would like that Christmas present – for me to stop eating too much, to stop being lazy and to seriously work on becoming healthy.

I know it’s been a while since I have written. But I am happy to report that I have been to Planet Fitness two days in a row and so far, I love it! I’ve been doing 10-15 minutes of the treadmill, which runs so much smoother than mine at home.

There is a section in the building for working on abs, so I went there and tried the machines. Some I could not even move, but there is one that helps me do crunches and I liked how easy it was. I even put some time on the bikes.

I had my MP3 player and was listening to Michael W. Smith music. I really got lost in the music and did not need to focus on what I was doing. Before I knew it, I had been there an hour. I had thought taking a shower and blow drying my hair there would be a hassle, but it was not and I felt like a new person walking out of the door!

For me, it’s a place to ‘get away’ from my stress and concerns. I am in my own world and no one pays any attention to me or what I am doing as they are focused on their workout. I have to wait until Dec. 15th to ‘Design Your Own Program’ with a personal trainer. In the meantime, I will stick to the machines that I know how to use.

You know, it seems like I was able to focus on the music more while working out and I really listened to the words of the songs honoring God. It was like nothing else mattered except being in the ‘here and now’ with Jesus. It was a a wonderful spiritual experience. I know this is something He wants me to do. He gave me good muscle tone so it should not take longer than a year (hopefully sooner) for me to be in the shape I want. What a wonderful gift from Him to put an affordable gym in my neighborhood! There are no excuses for being overweight now.

For the first time, I actually hope I do not get a job for a month or so. By then I will have a routine and hopefully, I will be able to buy nicer clothes than the maternity tops I’ve been wearing. But it all starts in the morning when I wake up knowing I will go to the gym, no matter what is scheduled. I need that time for myself and God has found a way of giving it to me.

I feel so good! I just completed my floor exercises and they went great! I tried to focus on the muscle groups I was working, but the TV had a good show, so I just did my best. I hope I have not aggravated anything – but right now, I feel terrific! And…I lost another pound. That makes a 5 lb loss since Sept. 28.

I am finding the shakes I have for lunch give me the energy I need and I can almost feel a nutritional surge. I have not been putting Splenda© in them anymore, they taste pretty good without it. I am sticking to the ½ portion, except at dinner. I do not eat a lot at dinner, but I make sure it’s a good, nutritional one so both my husband and I have one good meal each day. His diabetes is stabilized and I am losing inches and weight (ah, so is he, faster than me!). So all the things we are doing must all be working together to make us healthier.

Tomorrow I am trying the new Rx the doctor gave me to help me be more alert and have more energy,especially at the beginning of the day. It is especially for people like me who use a C-Pap at night and may still not be getting enough quality sleep. It is also used for people who work different shifts and need to be more alert.

In the morning, I wake up tired, confused, and hungry. The hunger I can take care of, but the rest, I just have to keep going back to bed to get enough rest. About noon I start feeling better. By then I have wasted 4 hours. And I have yet to make it to morning Mass. That frustrates me more than anything.

I just had an idea. While re-reading the paragraph above, it occurred to me that maybe instead of cereal (Rice Krispies) for breakfast, maybe I should have a shake. I will try it and see how I feel. The shakes last exactly 4 hours for me, but after that 4th hour, I am empty and my sugar is low. I need to be aware of this and have something ready to eat by that time.

This is all a learning process. I know God is leading me to the best weight control and exercise program for my body. I just have to be open to His promptings.