I had the opportunity to watch an interview Oprah Winfrey had with the Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christi.  He spoke of his mother, Sondra, and told the story of her impending death which illustrated the nature of their relationship.  Christi was at his mom’s bedside as she was dying when she asked what day it was.  He told her that it was Friday and his mother asked what time.  He answered that it was 9:30 in the morning to which she told him to go to work.  Christi said he took the day off  to visit with her.  Taking her son’s hand in hers, she said to him, “Go to work.”  “That’s where you belong; there’s nothing left unsaid between us.”

That’s so powerful.  It speaks volumes of their mother/son relationship.  There was trust and an unconditional love between them that allowed them to speak freely, to share what was on their minds and in their hearts. How blessed they were.

So often this is not the case and leads to regrets after a death.  Regrets for what was left unsaid.  We assume people know how we feel…they know we love them, right?  Perhaps. But, we all seek that love to be validated, to be reassured of that love.  No matter how old we are, we look to be loved unconditionally by our parents.

We look for their approval.  We want them to acknowledge our accomplishments…our marriage, our job, our lifestyle.  We want them to see who we have become and what we have done with our lives.  This is especially true when we are in our twenties and thirties.

I think as parents, we know our mistakes; we know we are not perfect. Yet, we desire to hear that we, too, are loved and appreciated for all our efforts.  We like to hear that we have made a difference in the lives of our  children.

How easy is it for an adult child to say any of the following:

*  “I love you.”

*  “Thank you for all you have done for me and for all your support.”

*  “What do you think of this? “

*  “What would you do in my situation?”

How easy is it for a parent to say the following:

* “I love you very much.”

* “I’m so proud of you and the person you are.”

* “I’m proud of all your accomplishments.”

If you are blessed, it’s very easy.  Otherwise, not so.  I think it may be embarrassment, pride or fear of rejection that holds us back from sharing.  Maybe low self-esteem or, even, jealousy prevents us from acknowledging the accomplishments of others.

Perhaps, it is time to step back and to think through our reluctance.  Perhaps it is time to take a risk and say to those important to us…

“You did a great job, I’m so proud of you.”

Or how about… “I so appreciate everything you did for me, thank you; I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Or simply… “I love you.”

Each of us will die one day.  Wouldn’t it be nice to know that there was nothing left unsaid?

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God, Help me to share the words that are in my heart; the words that will let others know how important they are in my life.  Amen

Three weeks into the new year and I’m still plugging along on my resolution to lose weight!  Counting calories and trying to exercise each day…harder than I thought.  Never enough time to do everything I need to do.  Then I remembered that old familiar phase, “you are what you eat.”  So, if I eat sweets, am I sweeter and if I eat nuts, nuttier?

No, it’s healthy foods we’re talking about…if I want to be healthy, I have to eat healthy foods.  More fruits and vegetables, more fish and chicken, less fatty foods, more whole grains and less white starchy foods lead to weight loss and a physically healthier me.

Some foods, considering quantity of each, effect emotions and mental status.  Omega-3’s, found in salmon, whole grains, flaxseed, nuts (may not make me nuttier but are healthy) and turkey increase our mood.  Caffeine found in coffee, tea and cocoa increase alertness.  Alcohol can dull the nervous system and lower brain function.  And the list goes on.

So, a diet of healthy foods make for a physically, mentally and emotionally healthier me.  If foods effect these parts, there must be something that effects the most important part of me, the spiritual part.

What foods will keep me spiritually healthy?  It’s the Holy Eucharist, the bread and wine that become the Body and Blood of Christ.

If I am what I eat, consuming Christ in the Eucharist will help me to be more Christlike.  If I truly believe, which I do, that Christ is present in the Eucharist, then taking Christ into my body, my very soul, will help me to become more like Him and to grow spiritually.

Christ was the perfect human being…kind, caring, merciful, trustworthy and fully trusting in God, His Father.  He was a good son; listened to His mother, was concerned about her well-being, even while dying on the cross.  All His virtues can be summed up into His greatest virtue, His love for others, for all of us, for me.

Being aware of Christ’s Presence and the awesome magnitude of this Gift, I become aware of the person I need to be, the person I must strive to be, in order to be worthy of receiving Him in such an intimate way; not once, but over and over, daily if possible.  If love is the greatest commandment and Christ is the ultimate example of pure love, then receiving Him will help me to grow in love.

I choose to be more Christlike in the big things I do; and, more importantly, in the little things.  There certainly are a lot more little things everyday than the really big things!  I have the means to grow in His love, to be more Christlike; but, I must choose to do so.  I must choose everyday, every moment to be more Christlike.  Having Christ here with me makes these choices easier.  To remember He is with me, spiritually and physically, creates a strong desire to please Him.  To please Him is my small way of thanking Him for His Love, for His true Presence.  I have the means to grow in His love, to be more Christlike.  I choose to do so.  I choose everyday, every moment to be more Christlike.

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God, Thank You for the Gift of Your Son in the Eucharist.  It is mind-boggling.  It is awesome.  Help me to make the right choices to be Christlike. Thank You.  Amen.

Father M. Raymond, O.C.S.O. asks the question, “who are you” in his book, “The Spiritual Secrets of a Trappist Monk.”  Upon first reading that, my answer was quick: wife, grandmother, mother.  Before retiring, I would have said: community health educator.  Giving it more thought, I say that I am a Catholic.  And even more thought, provokes the answer, “me, I’m me.”  That last answer makes sense as it encompasses everything I do and all the relationships in my life.  So, that’s it, I’m me and I’m sticking to that answer.

Father Raymond thinks more of me.  For a proper reply he uses “theology that teaches that each of us is a child of God, who under God’s loving guidance and with God’s generous help, is working out a God-given destiny.”

I knew that!  I know God created me and I have a special purpose here on earth.  I’ve even blogged about that!  But, then, why didn’t I answer, “I’m a child of God?”

Putting that question and answer together….“who are you and I’m a child of God”…puts a smile on my face… a feeling of specialness comes over me.  The unique relationship between parent and child comes to mind…the special bond of love, the protection, the care and concern, and the “I would do anything for you, even die for you” willingness.  And so He did; God became Man and died for me.  If I were the only person on earth, He would have still died for me, just me!

In today’s world, we are a number…social security number, birth date, credit card number, bank number.  Whenever I transact business, it’s a number that identifies me, no name, just a number.  I think that slowly chips away at our self esteem.

Our world is filled with so much stress.  Jobs are lost, homes foreclosed on, debt increasing; it’s no wonder we question our abilities and our self-worth.  Our self-esteem plummets.  Women are notorious, anyway, for blaming themselves for everything that goes wrong.

So, in a world that is punching us down and looking back over all the other answers that came to my mind, there is none that is so fulfilling, so comforting, so amazing to me as “I am a child of God.”  Proudly, with head held high, I say…no, I shout, “I am a child of God.”  I am God’s child…who are you?

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God,  I am so happy I am your child.  Thank you for loving me so.  Help me to always remember how special I am and how much You love me.  Amen

The New Year is here and so many resolutions have been made by everyone.  The minute I call my intention a “resolution,” it goes by the wayside within a week.  I think it’s because I’m telling myself I have to do something and the child within me rebels.  Therefore, I never make resolutions about my prayer life; exercise and diet, yes, but prayer life, no.

This year, I decided to work on clutter.  James Martin, SJ, in his book, “The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything,” talks about the vow of poverty he took as a Jesuit priest.  He continues to say he finds it a mystery that more people don’t live more simply.  A way for us non-religious to live more simply, as suggested by Martin, would be to stop buying unnecessary things and to give away the things we don’t use.

Not only do possessions cost money, but they take time…they need to be taken care of, stored, repaired and replaced.  That takes time away from important things…time spent with God, family and friends.

Worry becomes a part of that: what brand to buy, at what store, for what price, to keep where, so that you will have it when needed, in hopes that it won’t break; because, then, where would you have it repaired?

Sometimes convincing a spouse this item is really necessary opens up a whole new arena: why do you need it… do you know what we can do with that money…the kids will never see you if you buy it.   Nagging will likely follow.

What happens when the things society are promoting are out of reach?  We can’t possibly buy everything; unhappiness and discontent come knocking at our door.

My dear neighbor, Karen and her husband, Jim, downsized as all their children were grown and out of the house.  They had garage sales, made donations of all kinds to many places and made numerous trips to the dump.  She told me it was energizing, like a rebirth, to rid herself of the clutter and all that unused stuff …it was freeing.

Clutter is stressful.  One of the ways to help decrease your stress level is to declutter your living space.  If not all your living space, at least the room you spend most of your time in, or your work area.  Your bedroom should be clutter-free to promote relaxation and a good night’s sleep.  Work on one room at a time.  Set small goals to declutter.  Work on the areas you see and then move on to the closets, drawers, attic and storage areas.

Our lives are filled with so much stress that ridding ourselves of clutter is a simple way to lower our stress level.  Clutter-free areas are more relaxing and we need all the relaxation we can get, by whatever means possible.

So this new year, I am looking around my home with a more critical eye.  What do I really need, what can I donate, and what will keep the homeless in our area warmer this winter?  With less time spent on “stuff”, I can spend more time praying and reading, more time with hubby and grandkiddies, more time relaxing and enjoying my newly found free time.

May God bless you and all those you love abundantly in this New Year.

Sharyn

Dear God, Give me the wisdom to know what I need and don’t need.  Help me to live more simply.  Amen.