Most of the time when someone dies children are left behind…grandchildren, children, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, friends.  And yet their grief is seldom validated.  Why is that?  Have they no feelings?  Are they immune to the pain of loss?  Are they self-centered and think only of themselves?

To look at a child who has had a loss, we might say that they are doing well, moving on, resilient.  They seem to be back at their everyday activities; they laugh and play.  So, why is that, if the pain is there?

Simply children, little ones up to teen-agers, grieve differently than adults.  But their loss is as real and painful as anyone else’s.

Ron, a teenager, who’s sister was killed in an auto accident, told me that when he went back to classes after the funeral, everyone was asking about his mother.  “How is your mother doing?”  “Is your mom okay; this must be awful for her?”  These types of questions came from teachers, staff and classmates.  He told me that no one asked how he was doing…how he was surviving the loss of his beloved sister..how he felt; no one except his coach.  Just that one person asked about him.  It was as if only a mother/daughter relationship was worthy of pain; not a brother/ sister relationship.

I met Stephanie when she was eight years old. Her father died when she was five.  I asked her how she felt when she sees her second grade classmates with their fathers.  She looked up at me, straight into my eyes and said, “I feel like I have a hole in my heart.”

Yes, children grieve.  Their grief is profound.  It dramatically impacts their life.

So how is it different, their grief from ours?  Grief is like an 80 lb. knapsack.  Adults can carry it around on their backs 24/7; all day, all night for months, sometimes years.  That 80 lb. knapsack is too heavy for a child to carry all the time.  A child has to put it down, rest for a while before picking it up again.  During that rest time they play and laugh.  They do the things all children do.  Then, when ready for the pain, they pick up that knapsack…they cry, they’re sad, they question.  They try to come to terms with their loss.

One mother called me and told me she was very upset because her son wanted to go to the school basketball game on Friday evening with friends.  Her husband had just died 2 weeks prior.  “How can he do that,” she wanted to know?  “Doesn’t he love his father; doesn’t he miss him,” she questioned?

This young teen certainly loved his father but needed to put that heavy knapsack down for a bit.  His life had changed.  Things were significantly different without his dad.  He needed some semblance of normality in his life, even if for only a couple of hours.  And, yes, he will pick up that knapsack and grieve, again and again, when able.

The interesting thing is that children will regrieve their loss at each stage of development.  What it means to lose a parent, a sibling or any loved one, changes as the child grows older.

For example, to lose a parent at six takes on a whole new meaning at nine and thirteen, at seventeen and twenty-one.  The parent is not there for those lifetime milestones…graduations, first job, driving, dating, college.  Not there to cheer during sporting games, dance recitals, spelling bees and talent shows.  Not there to answer questions about make-up, fashions, the opposite sex or just plain sex.

The living parent, or another loving person, may be there for them; but, children will still ponder and grieve what it means not to have their loved one in their life. What it would be like, how their life would be different, if just, maybe, that beloved had not died.

In future blogs, I would like to continue discussing children, their grieving and how we may help them along their grief journey.

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God,  It seems so unfair that children should have to grieve.  If I had my way, there would be no grieving for them until they were at least 25 years old.  But it isn’t my way. So please be with them.  Hold these dear ones in Your arms.  Let them feel your Presence in their lives.  Comfort them, give them Your Peace and, please, make things good for them again. Amen.

Yesterday, I opened my e-mail to read tragic news.  A young family in our parish lost their precious new baby.  They took the baby to bed with them and in the morning found the baby had suffocated during the night.  Just reading that broke my heart.  I can’t begin to imagine the heartache and pain this family is enduring.  Please keep them in your prayers.

I remember a time when my baby was colicky.  I brought him into bed and placed him on a pillow in hopes to soothe him.  I would stay awake until he fell asleep and would move him back to his crib.  Being an exhausted new mom, I fell asleep.  I woke with a fright, and fear raced through me.  Fortunately, my little one was fine.  Never again did I take that chance.

As a nurse, I can’t help but to advise parents not to bring babies into bed during the night.  There is equipment called a co-sleeper bassinet that attaches to an adult bed for an infant to sleep next to a parent at arms reach and still be safe.  Some controversy exists at this time as to how safe or unsafe the practice of co-sleeping is.  More research needs to be done; but, in my opinion, I would hesitate.  There are too many factors and conditions to consider.  Likewise, I am aware that many more people in non-Western countries do this.  I respect their customs, but I personally can not recommend the practice without safety precautions.

The ramifications of any infant death are numerous.  Mothers and fathers feel guilty; they are supposed to protect their children from harm.  Guilt sometimes surfaces even in a death beyond their control.

Parents will blame themselves or each other.  Blame may be put on the other spouse, especially if the baby was in that person’s care at the time of death.  “If only he was more careful.”  “She should have checked on the baby.”  “Why was he driving so fast?”  The blame continues.  Many times no one is at fault.  Other times it’s an accident, certainly not meant to happen.

Anger may be rampant.  Words are spoken that may be painful and hurting.  Once spoken, can never be taken back and probably will never be forgotten.

How can couples survive this tragedy?

*It takes a strong marriage.

*It takes a strong commitment to survive and work through this grief together.

*It takes a strong faith in God.

*It takes a willingness to communicate openly and non-judgmentally with each other.

*It takes time and effort.

*It takes a strong, supportive network of caring, nonjudgmental family members and friends.

*It takes a forgiving heart when needed.

*It takes professional counseling, many times, to guide couples through this pain.

It’s a grief filled with so many strong emotions that affect not only the parents, but the infant’s siblings, grandparents and other family members.

Siblings seem to be resilient and are often forgotten grievers.  The focus is on mom & dad.

Grandparents have to grieve the death of a grandbaby.  But, also, have to watch the pain their adult children are enduring.  They can be supportive and caring but can’t take the pain away from their children.  That’s most difficult.

Everyone has to work through the four tasks of mourning.  (See my November blogs.)  Everyone has their own grief journey to travel in their own time and in their own way.

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God,  Please comfort and be present to all mourning the death of their precious babies.  Help them through this difficult time.  Bless them, give them Your peace and hold them tightly in Your arms.  Amen

Centuries ago,  forgiveness meant “to release someone from debt.”  Forgiving someone would set a prisoner free.  Ironically, when we forgive, the prisoner we set free is ourself.  If we don’t forgive, if we harbor grudges or seek revenge, we are the ones locked in a prison; a prison of our own making.

Why is it so hard to forgive, when our spiritual well-being is in need of it?  Sometimes we think forgiveness means that we condone the action:  the hurt, the pain, the evil done to us.  How can we condone such acts?

In reality, that is not what is being asked of us in forgiveness.  Jesus forgives us; He loves the sinners but hates the sins.

How easy is it for us to do what we ask in praying the “Our Father?”  “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  Well, that is, everyone except Johnny or Mary!

Initially, for me that was a strong motivator.  My sins are numerous; my omissions are many.  They may be small sins, but they’re there.  I try each day to be as God wants, but they sneak in.  So, I’m a sinner and I need God to forgive me.  Then, I must forgive.

Just as I’m a sinner, so too, others are and sometimes those sins are against me.  Who is rude or insulting, who steals my parking space or cuts me off while driving.  That’s easy; I can make excuses for those people….problems and worries at home with family; late for work; in a hurry to get home before their children get off the school bus.  I can forgive these things.  I’ve been there and done that.

But, what about the difficult things?  How easy is it to forgive the big things…the pain caused to your child, rejection by a loved one, stealing that caused financial hardship.  And the list of painful, heart-wrenching transgressions goes on.  How do we forgive them…how do we do that?

As probably most people, I, too, have had tremendous pain in my life caused by the deliberate, Godless acts of others.  This is what I have come to learn about forgiveness:

*My thoughts were  always about the transgressor…what he said, what he did, what I should have said, what I will say if meeting again, what I can do to show him the pain caused…and the words played over and over in my mind.  They crept into my mind when I was doing menial tasks, when driving, when praying.  I was consumed by these thoughts; I was a prisoner.

*All these thoughts took time away from my present day, my life, my loved ones, my God.

*I was allowing this person to continue to hurt me, to cause me anxiety and sleepless nights.

*I was allowing him to hurt my loved ones because I was not there for them mentally and emotionally.

*Everyone is accountable to God for their actions.  God will judge my transgressor.

*God said, “Vengeance is Mine.”  In His wisdom, He will handle the situation much better than I can.

*God is especially angry with someone who hurts a child or a widow.  The Bible tells me of His concern for widows and orphans and His Love for all children.

*I can only forgive the pain and hurt caused to me.  I can not forgive for someone else the pain caused them.  God doesn’t expect that of us.  They need to forgive for themselves.

*Sometimes I can’t forgive face to face because of the situation; but, I can tell God that I forgive my transgressor for the hurt caused me.  I place that person in God’s Hands and trust God will handle everything from then on.

*Sometimes, someone will say “I’m sorry.”  Then it’s easier to say in reply, “I forgive you.”

I think the pain of an unloving, broken relationship is very difficult and becomes even more difficult if that person dies.  What do you do then?

Talk to the deceased, at the cemetery or in front of their picture, and tell them your pain and your feelings.  End with, “I forgive you.”

Or write a letter to the deceased…write down the hurt and pain, your feelings.  Take your time writing this; it doesn’t have to be done all at once.  Lastly, write the words, “I forgive you.”  Write them and mean them.  When finished, you can burn the letter or bury the letter at the cemetery or in your backyard.  It can be saved but disposing of the letter is a way of ridding yourself of the hurt and pain.  Ridding yourself of the transgression.

Finally, tell God you are placing all the pain, hurt and forgiveness in His Hands.

Then, move on with your life.  Move on with this burden lifted from your shoulders.   Move on with a free spirit knowing that now you are free.

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God,  Forgive me all my trespasses.  Forgive me for the times I found it difficult to forgive.  Please lift any pain and hurt from my heart and fill it with forgiveness.  Amen

“I’m an orphan, now,” said my husband after the death of his mother.  A friend at the viewing of her 97 year old mother said, “I know she was elderly; but, she was with me everyday.”  “Nobody seems to understand,” she continued.  And so she was right.  The death of an middle-aged or elderly parent seems less unfair, less meaningful, less outrageous than other deaths.  Unless, of course, you have lost a parent.

Parents are our link to our past.  They have been with us since before our birth.  They know all about those younger years, all about us.  It’s said that when a parent dies, so does our past.  We have our memories but they have the answers.

I have a memory of walking next to my father, hand in hand, when I was about three years old.  He was singing the “I love you a bushel and a peck” song.  He and my mother were divorced the next year.  I saw him every other Saturday but things were different.  I don’t remember him singing that song at any other time.  I wish I asked him how much he sang it to me when I was little.   Were there other songs he sang?  He died in 1994; I never did ask him about that song, that place, that time.  My chance gone forever.  The answers died with him.  So, in a way, a part of my past died.

Some species leave their young ones shortly after birth.  God allows our parents to be important throughout our lives.  If we are blessed, then love, respect and support for each other will grow over the years.

Babies and children need physical care…food, clothing, shelter and love.

Teens still need that and more…rules, values, morals; someone to teach them all that and to love them.

Twenty and thirty year-olds look for guidance and support as they start their own families and their careers.   They look to share their children and accomplishments with their parents. They need baby-sitters for their kiddies!  And they, too, need love.

Forty and fifty year-olds sometimes are the sandwich generation; caring for  their own children and taking on some responsibility for their parents…running errands, medical care or financial guidance.  Sometimes, resentment surfaces: children resenting added responsibilities and parents resenting their inability to care for themselves and to handle their own affairs.  They both need love.  After death there may be feelings of sadness, longing and,sometimes, guilt; especially for those feelings of resentment.

Sixty years olds feel old themselves, with physical problems of their own.  Yet, strong attachments grow when a parent lives with an adult child, especially if that child never married, is widowed or divorced. More time may be spent visiting with a parent in assisted living or in a nursing home.  There’s more time to reminisce about the past with the person who shared more than sixty years with us.

Grieving adult children need to realize their feelings are normal.  Their relationship with a parent deserves to be mourned.  No one can fill that space.

Then there are those not so blessed.  Arguments, disagreements, hard feelings can all strain relationships.  There are parents who are disliked, from whom needs were never met.  This relationship is difficult at any age, as is the parent’s death.  Mourning is for what never was and what never will be.  Death ended any possibility of a loving relationship, of mending that broken relationship, of saying “I’m sorry” or “I love you.”

When a parent dies, their physical being is lost but there are other common losses that are grieved.

*Loss of childhood:   Parents watched as we grew, lovingly saved our art work, remembered our sports games, can tell us when we lost our first tooth and took our first step.

*Loss of unconditional love:   Parents can provide a certain kind of love not found in others.  We’re loved because we are their child.  We always will be their child.  It’s said, “If Mama ain’t happy, no one’s happy!”  I believe that Mama’s not happy unless her children are happy and healthy.”

*Loss of a friend:   Parents can be best friends, confidants. Usually there are regular visits or phone calls, Sunday dinners.

*Loss of financial support:   We have no one to fall back onto, if needed.

*Loss of support:   The help that’s given to us by baby-sitting, running errands, preparing dinners to help make our hectic days easier.  The words of encouragement and advice or words of love and caring.

If we are blessed with good parents all the days of our lives than their death is a tremendous loss.  Can it be compared to the loss of other relationships?  No, that’s like comparing apples to oranges.  Within each type of relationship, each loss is unique; therefore, each loss is uniquely grieved.

Hopefully, when losing a parent, we will be more aware of and patient with the grieving journey we embark upon.

Hopefully, we will be the caring, supportive, and understanding person who acknowledges this loss as significant and meaningful in others.

For more information about the grieving process, see my November 2011 blogs.

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God,  Thank you for the gift of my parents.  May my mother’s days here be filled with love, happiness and contentment.  Help me make that possible.  Keep my dad close to you and one day bring us all together to be with you for all eternity.  Amen.

I had the opportunity to watch an interview Oprah Winfrey had with the Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christi.  He spoke of his mother, Sondra, and told the story of her impending death which illustrated the nature of their relationship.  Christi was at his mom’s bedside as she was dying when she asked what day it was.  He told her that it was Friday and his mother asked what time.  He answered that it was 9:30 in the morning to which she told him to go to work.  Christi said he took the day off  to visit with her.  Taking her son’s hand in hers, she said to him, “Go to work.”  “That’s where you belong; there’s nothing left unsaid between us.”

That’s so powerful.  It speaks volumes of their mother/son relationship.  There was trust and an unconditional love between them that allowed them to speak freely, to share what was on their minds and in their hearts. How blessed they were.

So often this is not the case and leads to regrets after a death.  Regrets for what was left unsaid.  We assume people know how we feel…they know we love them, right?  Perhaps. But, we all seek that love to be validated, to be reassured of that love.  No matter how old we are, we look to be loved unconditionally by our parents.

We look for their approval.  We want them to acknowledge our accomplishments…our marriage, our job, our lifestyle.  We want them to see who we have become and what we have done with our lives.  This is especially true when we are in our twenties and thirties.

I think as parents, we know our mistakes; we know we are not perfect. Yet, we desire to hear that we, too, are loved and appreciated for all our efforts.  We like to hear that we have made a difference in the lives of our  children.

How easy is it for an adult child to say any of the following:

*  “I love you.”

*  “Thank you for all you have done for me and for all your support.”

*  “What do you think of this? “

*  “What would you do in my situation?”

How easy is it for a parent to say the following:

* “I love you very much.”

* “I’m so proud of you and the person you are.”

* “I’m proud of all your accomplishments.”

If you are blessed, it’s very easy.  Otherwise, not so.  I think it may be embarrassment, pride or fear of rejection that holds us back from sharing.  Maybe low self-esteem or, even, jealousy prevents us from acknowledging the accomplishments of others.

Perhaps, it is time to step back and to think through our reluctance.  Perhaps it is time to take a risk and say to those important to us…

“You did a great job, I’m so proud of you.”

Or how about… “I so appreciate everything you did for me, thank you; I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Or simply… “I love you.”

Each of us will die one day.  Wouldn’t it be nice to know that there was nothing left unsaid?

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God, Help me to share the words that are in my heart; the words that will let others know how important they are in my life.  Amen

Three weeks into the new year and I’m still plugging along on my resolution to lose weight!  Counting calories and trying to exercise each day…harder than I thought.  Never enough time to do everything I need to do.  Then I remembered that old familiar phase, “you are what you eat.”  So, if I eat sweets, am I sweeter and if I eat nuts, nuttier?

No, it’s healthy foods we’re talking about…if I want to be healthy, I have to eat healthy foods.  More fruits and vegetables, more fish and chicken, less fatty foods, more whole grains and less white starchy foods lead to weight loss and a physically healthier me.

Some foods, considering quantity of each, effect emotions and mental status.  Omega-3’s, found in salmon, whole grains, flaxseed, nuts (may not make me nuttier but are healthy) and turkey increase our mood.  Caffeine found in coffee, tea and cocoa increase alertness.  Alcohol can dull the nervous system and lower brain function.  And the list goes on.

So, a diet of healthy foods make for a physically, mentally and emotionally healthier me.  If foods effect these parts, there must be something that effects the most important part of me, the spiritual part.

What foods will keep me spiritually healthy?  It’s the Holy Eucharist, the bread and wine that become the Body and Blood of Christ.

If I am what I eat, consuming Christ in the Eucharist will help me to be more Christlike.  If I truly believe, which I do, that Christ is present in the Eucharist, then taking Christ into my body, my very soul, will help me to become more like Him and to grow spiritually.

Christ was the perfect human being…kind, caring, merciful, trustworthy and fully trusting in God, His Father.  He was a good son; listened to His mother, was concerned about her well-being, even while dying on the cross.  All His virtues can be summed up into His greatest virtue, His love for others, for all of us, for me.

Being aware of Christ’s Presence and the awesome magnitude of this Gift, I become aware of the person I need to be, the person I must strive to be, in order to be worthy of receiving Him in such an intimate way; not once, but over and over, daily if possible.  If love is the greatest commandment and Christ is the ultimate example of pure love, then receiving Him will help me to grow in love.

I choose to be more Christlike in the big things I do; and, more importantly, in the little things.  There certainly are a lot more little things everyday than the really big things!  I have the means to grow in His love, to be more Christlike; but, I must choose to do so.  I must choose everyday, every moment to be more Christlike.  Having Christ here with me makes these choices easier.  To remember He is with me, spiritually and physically, creates a strong desire to please Him.  To please Him is my small way of thanking Him for His Love, for His true Presence.  I have the means to grow in His love, to be more Christlike.  I choose to do so.  I choose everyday, every moment to be more Christlike.

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God, Thank You for the Gift of Your Son in the Eucharist.  It is mind-boggling.  It is awesome.  Help me to make the right choices to be Christlike. Thank You.  Amen.

Father M. Raymond, O.C.S.O. asks the question, “who are you” in his book, “The Spiritual Secrets of a Trappist Monk.”  Upon first reading that, my answer was quick: wife, grandmother, mother.  Before retiring, I would have said: community health educator.  Giving it more thought, I say that I am a Catholic.  And even more thought, provokes the answer, “me, I’m me.”  That last answer makes sense as it encompasses everything I do and all the relationships in my life.  So, that’s it, I’m me and I’m sticking to that answer.

Father Raymond thinks more of me.  For a proper reply he uses “theology that teaches that each of us is a child of God, who under God’s loving guidance and with God’s generous help, is working out a God-given destiny.”

I knew that!  I know God created me and I have a special purpose here on earth.  I’ve even blogged about that!  But, then, why didn’t I answer, “I’m a child of God?”

Putting that question and answer together….“who are you and I’m a child of God”…puts a smile on my face… a feeling of specialness comes over me.  The unique relationship between parent and child comes to mind…the special bond of love, the protection, the care and concern, and the “I would do anything for you, even die for you” willingness.  And so He did; God became Man and died for me.  If I were the only person on earth, He would have still died for me, just me!

In today’s world, we are a number…social security number, birth date, credit card number, bank number.  Whenever I transact business, it’s a number that identifies me, no name, just a number.  I think that slowly chips away at our self esteem.

Our world is filled with so much stress.  Jobs are lost, homes foreclosed on, debt increasing; it’s no wonder we question our abilities and our self-worth.  Our self-esteem plummets.  Women are notorious, anyway, for blaming themselves for everything that goes wrong.

So, in a world that is punching us down and looking back over all the other answers that came to my mind, there is none that is so fulfilling, so comforting, so amazing to me as “I am a child of God.”  Proudly, with head held high, I say…no, I shout, “I am a child of God.”  I am God’s child…who are you?

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God,  I am so happy I am your child.  Thank you for loving me so.  Help me to always remember how special I am and how much You love me.  Amen

The New Year is here and so many resolutions have been made by everyone.  The minute I call my intention a “resolution,” it goes by the wayside within a week.  I think it’s because I’m telling myself I have to do something and the child within me rebels.  Therefore, I never make resolutions about my prayer life; exercise and diet, yes, but prayer life, no.

This year, I decided to work on clutter.  James Martin, SJ, in his book, “The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything,” talks about the vow of poverty he took as a Jesuit priest.  He continues to say he finds it a mystery that more people don’t live more simply.  A way for us non-religious to live more simply, as suggested by Martin, would be to stop buying unnecessary things and to give away the things we don’t use.

Not only do possessions cost money, but they take time…they need to be taken care of, stored, repaired and replaced.  That takes time away from important things…time spent with God, family and friends.

Worry becomes a part of that: what brand to buy, at what store, for what price, to keep where, so that you will have it when needed, in hopes that it won’t break; because, then, where would you have it repaired?

Sometimes convincing a spouse this item is really necessary opens up a whole new arena: why do you need it… do you know what we can do with that money…the kids will never see you if you buy it.   Nagging will likely follow.

What happens when the things society are promoting are out of reach?  We can’t possibly buy everything; unhappiness and discontent come knocking at our door.

My dear neighbor, Karen and her husband, Jim, downsized as all their children were grown and out of the house.  They had garage sales, made donations of all kinds to many places and made numerous trips to the dump.  She told me it was energizing, like a rebirth, to rid herself of the clutter and all that unused stuff …it was freeing.

Clutter is stressful.  One of the ways to help decrease your stress level is to declutter your living space.  If not all your living space, at least the room you spend most of your time in, or your work area.  Your bedroom should be clutter-free to promote relaxation and a good night’s sleep.  Work on one room at a time.  Set small goals to declutter.  Work on the areas you see and then move on to the closets, drawers, attic and storage areas.

Our lives are filled with so much stress that ridding ourselves of clutter is a simple way to lower our stress level.  Clutter-free areas are more relaxing and we need all the relaxation we can get, by whatever means possible.

So this new year, I am looking around my home with a more critical eye.  What do I really need, what can I donate, and what will keep the homeless in our area warmer this winter?  With less time spent on “stuff”, I can spend more time praying and reading, more time with hubby and grandkiddies, more time relaxing and enjoying my newly found free time.

May God bless you and all those you love abundantly in this New Year.

Sharyn

Dear God, Give me the wisdom to know what I need and don’t need.  Help me to live more simply.  Amen.

The day after Christmas is my day to relax.  I enjoy thinking about the family being together to celebrate Christmas Eve, the gifts so lovingly exchanged, and the beauty of Midnight Mass.  But most of all, I reflect on that most wondrous gift, the gift of Jesus in the Incarnation.

I can’t help but think of Mary relaxing also.  The long trip from Nazareth is behind her and in her arms is her precious Baby.  As all new mothers, she must have been in awe of her first Baby, holding Him close and kissing Him. The beautiful painting by Morgan Weistling,  “Kissing the Face of God,” comes to mind.

I think she even counted all his fingers and toes and looked Him over to see how perfect He was.  The stable animals hovering close to keep them warm and visitors coming to adore Baby Jesus, to wish them well.  As I think about this, I can feel the the peace and tranquility in that little stable and the serenity of Mary.  This was the time before their escape to Egypt; before the impact of what it means to mother the Messiah .

I remember the birth of my first born, Louis.  The joy was overwhelming and tears abundant.  Taking him in my arms I held  him ever so close.  All I wanted to do was hold him and kiss him, count his tiny fingers and toes, and look at his little arms and legs.  I wasn’t very different from other young mothers and I think we were all like Mary.  My baby was here and I was in awe.

Mary was not only given the gift of a precious Baby, but a Baby more precious than any…the Son of God.  I’m thinking this young mother may have allowed herself a little time in that stable to think of and enjoy Jesus as her Baby before seeing Him as the Messiah.  The Messiah, the Son of God, here to redeem God’s people, all of us…the thought mind boggling.  Yet, Mary in her serenity, in her trust in God was beginning the journey that would make her known to all, blessed among all women, the Mother of God.  How perfectly she did that.

May God bless you and all those you love during these Twelve Days of Christmas.

Sharyn

Dear God,  Thank you for the Gift of Your Son, the most Perfect Gift.  Thank you for loving us so much.  Amen.

To view the painting “Kissing the Face of God” copy and put in your address bar:

www.morganweistling.com/galleries/gallery03/kissingfacegod.html

One of my favorite books is “The Day Christ Was Born” by Jim Bishop, the author of “The Day Christ Died.”  The first time I read it was thirty plus years ago when my family was young.  Coming upon it the other day, I  couldn’t wait to read it again.  Taking it into my hands I noticed the pages of this small book had yellowed over time and the paper cover was slightly torn.  I waited until I had time, then settled myself down in a comfortable chair to read the awesome story of Jesus’ Birth.

Bishop does a wonderful job of reconstructing the people, places and events of that First Christmas.  He tells of the events and talks about Mary and Joseph’s fears, concerns, faith and trust in God.  He enhances the events with details of everyday life at that time.  Through his eyes, I was able to watch these two young people accept God’s request to deliver into the world our Savior and to raise and lovingly care for Him.  He tells how protective and caring Joseph was of Mary and Baby Jesus.  Mary, as all new mothers, so enjoyed bathing, changing and nursing her new Baby.  How she loved holding Him and kissing Him!

I couldn’t help but to think back to my “new mom” days.  I couldn’t get enough of my new baby, just couldn’t stop kissing him.  I had never felt such joy!  Bishop tells of Mary’s joy in a way that I could relate to.  He, also, tells of Mary teaching Joseph how to hold this Little One and how to care for Him.

I received a Christmas card that caused me to pause and then to smile.  Mary was reclining, resting, in the background.  In the foreground, Joseph was holding Baby Jesus close to his chest as new fathers do.  I have always pictured St. Joseph with a halo over his head, holding a lily and Jesus in his arms or standing at a carpenter bench with Jesus next to him, as on holy cards.

So looking at this Christmas card with Joseph taking his turn of caring for Jesus while Mary rested, opened my eyes to the day in and day out role Joseph played in Jesus’ life.  He did more than carpentry to provide for them.  He was more than a foster father.  He took up the role as all new dad’s do… to love, care for and play with Jesus.  He helped Mary raise this Baby, this Child, Jesus, to be learned in His religion, to be a respectful young boy, to help Mary with chores and Joseph with his carpentry.  Through this little book, I saw more than Mary, the Mother of God, and Joseph, the saint.  I had a glimpse of this young couple, their loving relationship, their love as parents for Jesus, and the simple routine of their everyday family life.  It put a smile on my face.

May God bless you and all those you love.

Sharyn

Dear God,  Thank you for the time to enjoy this book and to see the Holy Family in a new light.  Please bless all families, especially new families and their precious babies.  Amen