Tag Archives: prayer

Royal Envy

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Answered prayers are so easy to recognize when the answer is ‘yes.’   But when God answers our longings with ‘no’ or ‘not yet’ we can easily fall victim to the idea that our prayers aren’t being answered, or worse, that God isn’t listening.

Recently, in the middle of evening prayer I found myself gripped with envy of the king in Psalm 21, whose prayers had been answered by God:

LORD, the king finds joy in your power;

in your victory how greatly he rejoices!

You have granted him his heart’s desire;

you did not refuse the request of his lips.

~Psalm 21: 2-3

I was suddenly struck with the idea that my heart’s desire had not been granted; that my prayers had not been answered.  In a fleeting moment of despair I agonized over each of my particular prayer requests which were still ‘pending.’  These prayers were not for material things or special favors; these ongoing prayers were for the return of lost sheep, and the righting of wrongs.  Nevertheless, in that instant of awareness I sensed emptiness in my unanswered prayers and fought off jealousy for the king in his joy.

No sooner did I catch myself lamenting in self-pity than my eyes followed the Psalm as it continued:

For you welcomed him with goodly blessings;

you placed on his head a crown of pure gold.

He asked life of you;

you gave it to him,

length of days forever.

Great is his glory in your victory;

majesty and splendor you confer upon him.

You make him the pattern of blessings forever,

you gladden him with the joy of your face.

~Psalm 21: 4-7

I was struck with a sudden inspiration that in freeing me from my sins and calling me to Himself, God had answered the deepest prayers of my heart with forgiveness and the hope of eternal life in His presence.  In other words, I recognized that far beyond my repeated “wish list” prayers, God’s love had touched me in an eternal way.  Suddenly none of the ‘pending’ prayers on my list seemed quite so important, or urgent.  Rather I was moved to a profound gratitude for God’s endless love and a deeper longing for the crown of eternal life, and anticipation for the ultimate joy of seeing Him face to face.

It’s understandable that when I am caught up in the day to day struggles of the world, the types of prayers I offer to God are very much a pleading that our world will become a better place, our country a nation for life, and its people a holy people.  Surrounded by the ongoing turmoil in our land, I can so easily relate to the sorrows of Job:

Is not life on earth a drudgery,

its days like those of a hireling?

Like a slave who longs for the shade,

a hireling who waits for wages,

So I have been assigned months of futility,

and troubled nights have been counted off for me.

~Job 7: 1-3

When my eyes are fixed on God alone, my prayers and longings are for union with Him and eternal life.  Trusting completely in His plans and designs, I may still plead for change (here and now) and beg relief from the oppression of the foe, but with a deep sense of peace in the truth that these Earthly struggles and trials are temporary. My relationship with Him is forever.

Keep praying…

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Faithful Return

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Entertaining our foster twins in the narthex only moments before Mass, I was approached by a friendly woman who handed me some cash and asked if I would give it to the Church. “Yes, of course,” I answered, “But why don’t you stay? Mass is about to begin.”

A funeral Mass had just ended, and seeing the hearse parked out front, she hesitated to enter.  I told her that even on the occasion of a funeral, she would be welcome to attend, and again encouraged her to stay. She admitted she wasn’t Catholic, and I replied, “Everyone is welcome to pray with us at Mass.” To my surprise, she stayed, sitting alone in one of the very back pews.

Inspired to offer assistance on her faith journey, I wrote my name and contact information on the back of a Catholics Come Home wallet card, and slipped it to her. I didn’t expect to hear from her, but to my surprise she called me a few days later and we talked on the phone for over half an hour.

I listened as she explained that she had been dutifully transporting her elderly Catholic aunt to Mass when possible; however the effects of Alzheimer’s often prevented travel, and now a home-bound minister would be taking Holy Communion to her aunt. But my new friend felt drawn to Church, even without the excuse of bringing her aunt, and in the course of our conversation she admitted that she had been baptized Catholic as an infant.

“So you are Catholic, just a dormant Catholic!” I exclaimed. “Sounds like Jesus is calling you to come closer to Him. This might not be about your aunt after all!”

She was the second such Catholic I have had the great pleasure of meeting recently. Both baptized in infancy, both inexplicably enticed to attend Mass and desiring to grow in knowledge of their parents’ (lost) faith. Each coming to understand the truth about and the efficacy of his/her baptism and desiring to grow closer to Christ. Both courageous enough to set aside prejudices and move through an awkward re-entry into the Church of their re-birth.

The greatest gift I can give my new friends on their journey home is a promise of prayer. Knowing my own forgetfulness, I wrote their names on my list of prayer intentions, which I use as a bookmark in my Magnificat. I pray that they will give themselves completely to God’s transforming power and learn to recognize Jesus, truly present in the Holy Eucharist.

If I hadn’t been paying attention, I would have just taken the money and let my new friend slip out of Church. But by God’s grace I availed myself to act upon His thirst for souls. If we are attentive to the nudging of our guardian angel and to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit, we can truly bring souls to Christ! So be on the lookout in your pews and narthexes, and take a moment to introduce yourself to someone you don’t recognize. Or re-introduce yourself to someone who looks lonely. Pray daily for those who seek to find Christ in the Eucharist within our Holy Catholic Church.

 

In loving memory of Susannah Kelley

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The Dance of Prayer

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In many school districts, students must sign a contract agreeing to avoid vulgar or provocative dance moves before being allowed to attend a school dance.  One such contract outlines the procedure a chaperon will follow in the event of sexually explicit dancing:  mark the offending student’s hand with an “x” and require him/her to sit out one dance.

Times have certainly changed since the days my parents met and courted in high school.  They shared memories of their high school dances in the late 1950′s, fondly remembering the nun-chaperons who would admonish too-close dancers with the advice, “Leave room for the Holy Spirit!”  The nun-chaperons acted as guardians of their students’ chastity as well as referees for required dance etiquette. Some wielded rulers to physically mark out the required twelve inch distance that was meant to exist between the dancers.

Leaving room for the Holy Spirit is great advice for teens on the dance floor and for each one of us in our prayer time.  Although memorized prayers and set prayer routines are great beginnings to bring us closer to God, we must learn to open our hearts and minds to the workings of the Holy Spirit, to become receptive to the graces God wishes to bestow upon us in prayer.

In a classic handbook on prayer, Opening to God, Thomas Green, S.J., stresses this need to allow God to lead the dance in prayer:

I have been suggesting… to define prayer as an opening of the mind and heart to God. …the idea of opening stresses receptivity, responsiveness to another. To open to another is to act, but it is to act in such a way that the other remains the dominant partner.

(Green, 1977, p. 36)

For someone like me, who finds it almost physically impossible to follow my husband’s lead on the dance floor, learning to be docile to God in prayer is equally formidable. My busy mind launches words, ideas, and distractions galore, making it nearly impossible for me to simply be still in God’s presence. Tempted to give up on many occasions, I simply admit my inability to be receptive and I try, try again.

Spending dedicated time with God in prayer, making time to learn how to pray, and seeking expert advice helps form me into a better prayer partner for God.  Learning to allow almighty God to be the natural leader in our dance of prayer takes practice, but more importantly, requires His divine assistance. Father Green explains, “Prayer does entail effort on the part of man, even though it is always God who reaches across infinity to us, and even though man’s effort is itself impossible without the sustaining grace of God” (p. 38).

This openness in prayer may be quite difficult for some of us to master, and without our cooperation (an act of our will) any prayer will be impossible. God continually asks our hand in the dance or prayer, but He will never force prayer upon us.

Would you care to dance?

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