Temptations are always around us and come in so many disguises. And it’s so easy to give in just a little, didn’t really hurt us, so next time it’s a little easier to give in that little bit again. I have to apologize for letting temptation in. When I was first given the opportunity to do this blog, I had new ideas just flowing, couldn’t get them down fast enough, forgot more than I did. I had been doing family prayers, and just knew I had good words to share with others. And than I started doing this blog, and I continued to listen and learn from others. Listened to Catholic radio, read religious books, was inspired by their conversion stories, stories of Mary, of Jesus, of the saints. So much that I hadn’t heard before, or hadn’t listened to before. Mass, the homily, the Eucharist became more alive for me.. I look forward to going to mass, instead of going because I need to, and than…… the seed, the seed of self doubt.
As I heard these stories, shared their faith, my story paled in comparison. Born Catholic, lived a fairly decent life, never did anything really too bad, but haven’t really done anything dramatic about changing, just small changes, as I have become a better Catholic. The seed was planted. What do I have to share or to say that can compare with these stories I hear. It became harder to put down my thoughts, they weren’t coming through as clearly, so I put it off, and as I put it off, the seed grew. It became easier to put it off, “I can do it on my days off”, than “too much to do, just wait until the end of the day, than “I’m too tired, tomorrow is ok”. The seed was growing into a strong plant. So many have done so much more than I have, their stories are so much more interesting, what can I tell them, etc etc, and the plant grew, and it was easier to put off writing.
The seed of self doubt. We all have it, waiting below the surface and Satan uses it when we are weakest, most vulnerable. Even when I had a good idea, I was finding difficulty being motivated on writing, and this just a few months after being so excited about having this opportunity. I didn’t deserve the chance, but I found the answer, knew it all the time, just didn’t take that one step, hit that one more key and start writing again. The answer, as always is prayer. God is always there, waiting for us to say “Yes”, to fill us with the Holy Spirit, to inspire us. So simple just pray. It’s not that I wasn’t praying, it’s that I wasn’t letting myself be lead. I was trying to do it myself instead of letting the Spirit lead me.
Mary has been a big part of leading me back to Jesus, and her words, her messages from Medjugorje have inspired me the last few years. I let myself be sidetracked so I went back to where I was first inspired and started reading my book about Medjugorje again. Her messages are so simple, and so clear. She calls us to prayer, to fasting, and to penance. Let Mary lead you back to her Son.
God bless you and and have a good day, George