As I said in my first post, my son Alex has an ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).  He learns very quickly, but the way he communicates to us is often very different.  I have been teaching him about holy week and why we attend Mass and services more than usual this week.

Alex often recites lines from T.V. programs or commercials, and he will insert other words or concepts into his reciting.  Last night, at Good Friday service, Alex was very concerned and sad about Jesus’s death.  I reminded him of the resurrection and all the joy of that, which we will celebrate soon on Easter.  He had no furthur comment until we were walking out of the church to our car. We walked in silence as Father had reminded us to do, but as we neared our car, Alex started scripting very quietly to himself, much like the invisible narrator’s voice on a movie preview, “Will Jesus come again? Yes he will!  Look for Jesus 2, coming this Sunday to Disney home DVD collections.”

Now, please do not misunderstand me.  This could sound like a mockery of our faith. However, it is not.  My son was using a common (for him) way of telling us what he’s learned.  After my kids said their evening prayers, Alex said, in a regular voice, “I love you Jesus.”  May you all have a blessed Easter season, as we celebrate the resurection, and await His return again.  Happy Easter.

My beautiful daughter just turned seven.  She is, and always has been, full of questions.  She questions everything and is a very deep thinker. Recently, she picked up a copy of our archdiocesee’s Catholic newspaper, and saw an article and photo about an art exhibit that mocked our faith in a very rude, senseless way.  She was shocked.  She instantly had questions.   “Why would people mock catholics?” (good question). “How is that art?” (another good question).  “Why did the ‘museum boss’ let him put it there?”  and so on. My initial response was to be very condemning of the artist and the museum operators, etc.  But instead, I stopped and took a breath. I asked God to help me with this one. I remembered that I am trying my best, with my own broken history and lack of strong catechises, to mold and form her into a faithful child of God.  So,instead of angry ranting,  I told her we should pray for them.  Her response to me was overwhelming, as she looked me in the eye and said, “Oh mommy, I already did that!”  I guess the student has surpassed the teacher on this one.  God bless you all.

When I think about which events brought me back towards the catholic faith, it is hard to put my finger on any one of a whole series of events that, working together, pulled me back. Before my husband and I were ever married, we agreed that when both parents are the same religion, and raise the children in that religion, it is much better for the family. We both were raised in homes where the parents had different beliefs, and we knew the problems that could arise from that situation. At that time, he was not yet catholic, or practicing any religion, but was studying about all religions like crazy. I was attending mass on the occasional Sunday, various protestant services on a few other Sundays, and hitting the snooze bar well past noon most Sundays. Just a few months after we were married, the terrorist attacks of September 11^th occurred, and for the first time in my adult life, I was truly scared of something. Just two days later, at the little rural school where I was teaching, we went into lock down because of an escaped criminal in pursuit by the police, who was headed on foot towards our school. I remember thinking to myself “Has the world gone crazy?“

Just one day later, there was an accident on the freeway where an unmarked delivery truck was overturned, I happened to notice that the driver, obviously rattled, looked foreign. Then, while the traffic backed up behind me, I noticed two cars with several Middle Eastern looking men dressed like Muslims. In the part of the country I live in, that is an extremely unusual sight, and although I now know it was pure coincidence, at the time, I started to wonder if this was no accident, what if this was a purposeful blocking of the freeway? What if something devastating was being planned? First the airlines, now the interstate freeway system? I decided that I was being paranoid, but then I noticed the men talking fast and acting differently than the other drivers in other cars. One got out and went into the trunk. Please keep in mind that 9/11 had just happened a few days before. I thought about getting out of my car and running from the scene of the accident, but where to? I was in a remote area of the county. I didn’t know what to do, so in that moment, I began to pray the rosary, something I hadn’t done since high school. I kept it up the entire two hours I was stuck there while emergency crews handled the situation. I continued praying Hail Mary’s the entire rest of the way to work. That night, on my commute home, I had to ask myself, “hey, if you aren’t catholic anymore, how come you prayed the rosary this morning?” I couldn’t come up with a good answer. The next evening, I was at Saturday evening mass. I started to attend mass regularly. There is more to this story, and it will unfold over time. This is the first of many examples, too many to count, of how this faith has strengthened me.

Lately, my six year old and eight year old have been doing very well during mass. I am proud of their behavior and am very pleased with their level of participation in the mass. My Alex, even with his language challenges, has learned most of the responses, the sign of the cross, the Lord’s prayer, he sings the Gloria, and shakes hands and says “peace to you” during the sign of peace. My six year old daughter is doing several of these things as well. However, it wasn’t always this way…

I can remember when my two oldest were toddler and preschool age. As much as I hate to say this, going to mass felt like a chore. I would pack books, quiet toys, snacks, cups, diapers–all in an effort to keep them quiet, content, and comfortable. We’d ultimately wind up in the cry room every time.

As the kids got older (around ages 4 and 6) it seemed like it was only getting harder rather than easier. It was my husband who identified the reason why. By that time he’d entered RCIA, and was attending mass, too. He pointed out that I wasn’t allowing our children to learn how to behave at mass. We don’t eat, read, walk around, or play–why should they? The new rule was that they could have one catholic children’s book each, and that’s it. They could wiggle, but they had to stay at their spot and be quiet. I was very (very!)doubtful that this could work , but after a few tries, much to my own surprise, it became the norm.

Now, whenever I see noisy, restless children at mass, I remember that time of our lives. It also reminds me that we are “normal”, and that every child needs time, but also strong parental guidance, to learn how to act correctly.

This is the first year I haven’t resolved to loose weight. I mean, I want and need to loose some serious pounds, but it is NOT my New Years resolution. This year, I was touched by our priest’s homily about resolutions. I want to do God’s will, I want to pray with my heart, I want to be a dutiful daughter to the Lord. I can see how my health fits into that. I believe it is God’s will for me to be healthy and fit enough to raise my children. But this year, there is no selfish desire for attention, to fit into a certain swimsuit or shorts by summer, and no wasteful preoccupations with how I look. I want to be healthy and fit so I can be here, and serve my family, my community, and the Lord. It is a very refreshing feeling.

Feb. 9 2012

First Posting:

My name is Amy Guy and I am a 37 year old Catholic , Wife, Mother of three (and open to more children), elementary teacher in the public school system. I am a “reverted” Catholic, and I now know that the reason I ever left this beautiful faith was a huge misunderstanding (on my part) of what it means to be Catholic and why Catholics believe what we believe.

After a great deal of thought, I have decided to call this blog Special Blessings.

Before motherhood, I had it all planned out. A boy at age 28, a girl at age 32, and then a vasectomy for my husband or a tubal ligation for me. I shudder at that self serving, shallow plan now, and am eternally grateful to our Lord for intercepting in those plans. I am now blessed with the knowledge that God is a much better “family planner” than I am or ever could be. I am also blessed with our sweet, serene, Sarah, who would not have ever existed had my plan prevailed. There are so many other reasons that leaving the family planning to God has proven to be best for us, but my baby Sarah is the highlight of those reasons.

So what God had planned for our family was that I’d become pregnant with our daughter Olivia just 12 months after the birth of our firstborn, a son, Alexander. I was in shock. I was also in denial as I had to miss several periods and suffer sore breasts and morning sickness for a couple of weeks before even having a glimpse of an idea that I might be pregnant again. I had a hard pregnancy and birth with Alex, and I was also still stuck on my insistence that 4 years apart was the best spacing (first one is potty trained and in a booster instead of a car seat, out of the crib, high chair etc.). This sounds so shallow now–because it is.

Even more shallow was the dread I felt in telling my husband about my suspected second pregnancy. I was so sure he’s be totally upset and stressed out. This was based on absolutely NOTHING. I had never even discussed his feelings about more children with him. You see, the 4 years apart plan was truly MY plan. As for his getting upset and stressed out…I guess I was just projecting my feelings onto him, because when I told him the news, he got really excited and was very happy. Turns out, he was open to new life in a much more sincere way than I. It’s not surprising to me now, as I reflect on the beauty of his sincere joy at the prospect of another child, that my husband has since converted to the catholic faith–another truly special blessing.

So Olivia joined our family. Late in the pregnancy, as my son grew nearer to the age of two, I became concerned that he still wasn’t speaking. I had taken a teaching position in a special education classroom, and the teacher next door ran a “high needs” program. In her class at that time was an adorable ten year old child who spent his days skipping around the room, never uttering a word. Sometimes the happiness would drain from his face and he’d scream with the frustration of a toddler. This was one of my first introductions to the disorder of autism. As the weeks passed by, I couldn’t help but wonder why my own son had not begun to talk, and why he seemed a little different from my friend’s kids who were roughly the same age. But I also marveled in his extreme cuteness, his winning smiles, and the fact that he could draw Charlie Brown at the age of 21 months. Our Alexander is truly a special blessing, I can’t imagine how I could ever know true joy had I not ever had him.

So God knew more than I did that a sibling would be a huge help to our little boy. He knew a sister would be more nurturing than a brother might be, and he knew that if she was gregarious and socialable and demanding, that she would be the one who would get him talking and interacting. Thank God MY plan was shot down…in fact, it’s getting more and more insipid as I look at it from my current vantage point.

In this blog, I want to share with you my experiences as a mother, a returning catholic, the wife of a convert, and how I reconcile my faith (or try to) with what and how I am asked to teach in the public schools. I also want to share why I wouldn’t trade what God has given me for anything or anyone else in this whole wide world. He has given me a son and two daughters that have exceeded the children of my past hopes and dreams by leaps and bounds, even with my son’s challenges (most of which are actually society’s challenges–as he’s a pretty happy, together kid if you ask me). And lastly, I want to share with you the pitfalls and the successes I have teaching this faith to a child with a communication disorder caused by an ASD (autism), and to my kids in general. I hope you will find it helpful somehow, or maybe just entertaining. I am grateful to God for a chance to share all of this with you. God bless you.

-Amy