A hungry man is an angry man

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I learned the proverb titled above along with a litany of others in primary school. I love proverbs. However, the said proverb, when applied to fasting is a no-no.

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, a day of fasting and abstinence. I was walking to the bus stop to catch a bus home after work. As I walked I reflected on my day. I was also aware of the growl in my stomach and I remember how I behaved when hungry. The worst in me crept up. Yesterday, however, was different since I had made a deliberate attempt to fast. The benefits of fasting was also delivered to me in a book as I was waiting for Mass to start. So you can say I was very much aware that “a hungry man is an angry man” certainly cannot apply on this Ash Wednesday fast.

“Where are the fruits of the Spirit if I were to turn angry?” I asked myself as I walked. If I turn angry God is not glorified. If I turn angry because my stomach is dissatisfied, I am not projecting Jesus Christ in me to others. Come to think of it the stomach is deep seated and it contains our fire and passion along with God’s Will for us. Jesus fasted for forty days and nights in the wilderness. Empty and spent and having triumphed over the temptations of the Devil he came out of the wilderness a strong man of God.

Being hungry (especially on a deliberate fast) should therefore made the Christ in me more alive. If I snap because I am hungry I do not bring loving-kindness to others. It is likely that I would be unkind or unfair to another person in my anger and this is counter-productive to the spirit of a fast.

May you find God in your hunger. May Lent find you in a closer walk with Our Lord Jesus Christ.

At the hour of death

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Last night I went to a pictorial exhibit of a different kind. The exhibitor had an “in conversation with” his guests and spoke about his faith journey and how he had gathered the photographs that we were about to view over several years. The photographs were taken at various Benedictine monasteries in Australia, Philippines and Indonesia.

During his sharing I was struck by what he said about facing aloneness at the time of death. He took that from a quote but I did not jot it down. Anyway, something clicked inside me. This night it felt real – that one is alone at the hour of death. At that moment the dying cannot ask to take someone along and that aloneness must be frightening and painful. I must reflect deeper into this myself. “Pray for me now, and at the hour of death.” Now it appears to me that we live for this moment – the journey home to the Father and it is at this moment that we face our Waterloo … I can’t turn back the clock. Regrets … I just have to let them go. Anger and unforgiveness … what were these for? Busyness and the pursuit of material things that I could do without … what good are these at the end of life?

I think it might be beneficial for all of us to take a moment to think about the hour of our death. Morbid no doubt but better to face it now so that we can make amends when there is time than to face despair because we know our time is up. We might as well experience how the aloneness feels like when death knocks (that we cannot take another person with us; we have to go alone) and coming to acceptance of it. Hopefully this is not going to drive you to fear but that this suggestion allows you to live in the present, just as when one has to face fear, pain and despair in the eye when death comes. The latter, like all other events in our life, is one moment in time.

May you find God in your reflection of death.

Finding God in my judgement

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This morning on the way to work I saw a young lady in a short skirt and wearing 3″ heels. She walked funny. The top portion of her body was sticking forward and her long legs were hurrying after her. I thought of taking a video of her. “Hey, lady, this is how you walk. Do you like what you see?”

Further on down the road I saw another young lady. She has long hair but she tied a small portion of the top into a weird tail (read: not bun). She reminded me of characters from a classical sword-banishing Asian movie.

Where was God in that brief moment on the road? Ah, I realize that I was being judgemental. Sure, we are entitled to our opinions but I should be mindful that there are certain opinions that I do not need to proclaim loud in town. After all, the varieties of people and how they dress give a kaleidoscope feast for my eyes and they add to the fun of people-watching. I just have to be mindful that small judging incidents like this could lead to a bigger sin of self-importance and pride.

In my younger days I wore 3″ heels and often my legs were screaming “tired” and “pain” but I was oblivious to the pressure I was exerting on my body. I recall a time when I wore high heels on a date and I could not even walk properly. The guy had to hold me as if I was spastic. There was another time when I was in Taipei and I wore strapless high heels while touring the city. I was trying to impress a business associate who played tour guide. Boy, was it difficult to walk! On recollection my tour guide friend seemed to have looked at me in dismay. I was walking behind him most of the time. You bet I do not lug heels with me when I am on travel now.

When I was in my 20′s I tied my hair to one side and jazzed it up with colorful ribbons. I thought I looked good (and cute) then. :-)

I found God in my judgement today. The Holy Spirit convicts. May you find God and self in your judgements.

Gratitude

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I was at a talk last Friday. The speaker had something to say about faith in ecology. At one point the subject of cruelty to animals came up and whether it is okay to eat meat. Then on Saturday there was a special ecological report in the local papers. Several people were interviewed. One mum whose family opted to be vegans said that when her five year old son asked one day to have a burger she asked him in return, “if someone cuts your meat to eat it would you feel pain?” She said that from that day on her son never asked for burgers again.

This post is not meant to discuss the merits, demerits or the morality of eating meat or other savories that come from endangered species. Just as one columnist in our local papers wrote on Sunday about why she will continue to eat shark’s fin soup (a delicacy in our part of the world), “to each his own”, I just want to say that the speaker at the talk that I attended on Friday night was spot on when he said that at the end of the day we should be all be grateful for all that God has provided for us. True, an animal has been killed so that we could have its meat but we derived nourishment from that piece of meat. So give thanks.

I have long known that we should utter words of thanks, appreciation and gratefulness in our prayers but I am reminded of it again last Friday night. So, for what are you grateful for today?

May you find abundance of God’s blessings in the food that is laid before you.

Before we were family …

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“Before we were family
Now we are a couple.”

The above was uttered by an old man to his wife who had problems with memory. He was referring to their current familial state when all their children were grown and had left home. This was in a Korean movie entitled, “Late Blossom”. Watch the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3blRIDfg-gI.

The quote reminds me of how life comes full circle. I was once a baby, then a child, then youth, then young adult, then adult, mature adult, old woman. I grew up with parents and siblings, then I found love, got married and left the home I grew up in. Then my children came. They were babies, then children, then teens, young adults, adults, and soon they will move out of home. I can resonate with the quote. I better make plans for the day when I am a couple again with my husband …

God in unexpected places

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My own experience of “hearing” God in unexpected places came one day when I realized that I needed to rid myself of some fears I had before I could do His work. I was returning home from a 3-day live-in retreat when a van pulled up alongside the cab I was travelling in and it had a sticker by its side door which said, “No Fear”. Now, if that’s not God talking, who is? I believe you can hear God if only you pay attention.

May you find God in unexpected places.

Source of the Skywriting image: http://picturinggod.ignatianspirituality.com/1746/trust-skywriting/comment-page-1/#comment-1658

Health is wealth

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The Chinese Lunar New Year was celebrated on 23rd and 24th Jan. I ate too much fried snacks and got sick; was on medical leave from work for two days. I must confess that there were days when I would like to go on medical leave so I could stay at home to catch up on things. Alas, when I finally got my wish it did not turn out the way I planned because I was too drowsy from the flu medicines. I slept most of the day and even on waking moments I am too groggy to do much. My throat was sore. My nose was blocked and I can’t hear properly.

When the Lunar New Year comes around we always wish you each other Gong Xi Fa Cai. The Fa Cai means wishes of good wealth. Well, when I was down sick and unable to do much I could definitely do with good health. Yes, dear readers, I do wish you the best of health.

On another note, health is wealth probably rings true since with good health we do not need to spend much on medical bills and in more serious cases, hospital visits and long term rehab. So yes, health IS wealth.

May you find wealth in health.

With God all is possible

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Last week was an extremely busy week for me. I was involved in a Week of Guided Prayer at my parish church. Ordinarily this is not a big deal since I would have set aside time to be at the church from Monday to Friday evenings after work to journey with pilgrims in prayer. However when I signed up for this Week I had forgotten that the following week is Chinese New Year – a big festive occasion for Chinese especially in this part of the world. I had gone on vacation during the first week of January and had not much time to get my act together. Blessed be for me I could rope in my mother to instruct our housemaid on spring cleaning my home during the time I was out on vacation.

Chinese New Year (CNY) is a time when relatives visit one another. There are goodies that spell CNY to buy and to prepare. There is spring cleaning of our homes. After I got back from travel I was able to buy some CNY goodies around my office at lunchtime. It also helped that we could order some stuff from an ex-neighbor who makes yummy muruku (flour sticks flavored with spices). She also gave us some other stuff that she made. She is a real Jill of all trades – artist, cook, and gardener.

The stressful part of the week is finding time for myself. Now I don’t want to appear vain but CNY is a time to pretty up and my family need new clothes (it has to do with traditions that with the arrival of spring, we have to wear new clothes). I got to get my hair and nails done. Lo and behold one lunchtime last week I went to two shops near my office and I got my clothes. Shopping one done. During the week I also managed to get some odd bits such as a blouse to wear for the family reunion dinner on CNY eve and new eye shadows and mascara (task tsk … vain).

The Saturday before I brought my son for his haircut and we managed to buy him a set of new clothes. Although my two daughters are capable of shopping for themselves I still need to get them new nighties (yes, new nightgown to be worn on CNY eve is a tradition that I still keep). I found one set for my younger daughter that day I was out with my son. For my older daughter I found hers just yesterday afternoon when I went shopping with my son for another set of clothes. Yesterday’s shopping was done after the closing get-together of the Week of Guided Prayer. I rushed off from church immediately after the Week closes and was glad that the shopping trip was fruitful. My son also got a belt that he needed to replace the current one that is broken. My husband’s shirts that I got the night before had to be changed for size and I got that fixed too.

During the Week I had four pilgrims and I had one-on-one meetings with them from 7.30pm to 9.30pm. I arrived at the train station near the church at 7pm and used 15 mins to shop! I planned what to get on different nights. One evening I got a dress for my younger daughter. As mentioned above my daughters are capable of buying clothes for themselves but my motherly instincts still tell me I got to ensure they have new clothes. On Friday night I wanted to get shirts for my husband. I breathed a prayer before I neared the mall and amazingly I was able to get two shirts for my husband one evening in 15 mins! How is that to be? On another night I got myself a new nightie and a new Chanel eyeliner.

The week indeed was hectic but my mind is running helther-skelter with making appointments for a manicure and pedicure. Since I got back from travel I had failed to secure an appointment with my regular salon and those around my office and home. Their schedule was full to the brim. I had to cancel a Tuesday night appointment with my regular salon because of the Week of Guided Prayer. I was lucky to get a hair appointment yesterday (a Saturday morning) just before attending the closing event for the Week. I was hoping to find someone who could do my nails near the hair salon. I prayed but deep down inside I just knew that God would have made that possible. Trusting the small voice inside me I even wore open toe slippers in anticipation of getting a pedicure. Lo and behold I did find a salon who could do my nails immediately. Waiting would have meant that I would be late for the closing event of the Week in church. That is real strange since all the nail salons are packed choc-a-bloc. Thanks be to God my nails are now lovely colored and shined. After getting my hair and nails done I also found a dress for my older daughter. What a gift.

I learned one important lesson in all this. I gave my time to God’s work and God gave me my time. It has to be. Thanks to the generosity of God I am ready to face CNY next week. In fact CNY starts tonight with our family reunion dinner but I am blessed that I do not need to fret over the cooked food because my husband and my sister-in-law are in charge of the kitchen quarters.

I found God in the rush of life’s important events. May you find God as you rush about the things in your daily life.

One tender moment

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Some weeks ago I was in a train and I witnessed a loving moment between a child and his mother. The child looks about a year old. When the family entered the train the boy was carried by his father. The mother had the pram. I noticed that the boy was looking intently at his mother. It was as if he was trying to catch her attention, yet he did not whimper to convey that message. The beauty of it was he just looked. A moment later when the train was more stable the mother reached out to carry the boy. Incidentally the train was very crowded at that time and they were not offered seats. As soon as the boy was in his mother’s arms he immediately rubbed his face onto his mother’s face. I looked, enthralled. The boy continued this action several times and each time he did that he looked fully satisfied. I was delighted to have the opportunity to savor this episode in someone’s else life. I am thankful that I had witnessed such a tender moment. God be praised.

May you find God in the actions of a child.

Thy will be done

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Two nights ago I was watching a video that was related to the Spiritual Exercises of Loyola. It was hosted by Fr Gawronski, a Jesuit priest. That night the half hour video segment was about sin and hell. In it he mentioned something about the ills in modern society and how some people asked, “God, why is this happening?” What he said afterwards set me thinking. He suggested that instead of asking God why, everyone should look inside ourself and see how each of us have contributed to the sins of the world. At the end of our life’s journey, we faced God and could we say “Thy will be done” or would God say to us “thy will be done”? I thought this was powerful. I imagine God saying to me “you did it your way (thy will be done)”. What a difference this makes when I say to God “Thy will be done”. Food for thought.

May you find God in a sentence.